Baddest Women on the Planet: Suzanne Malveaux

Yes, the BSG has found another gem. ..and this time we bring you a heavy-duty, power hitter from the neck UP.. The BSG is proud to induct CNN's own Suzanne [Sue-zahn] Malveaux into its pantheon of bodacious beauties known as the BSG's "Baddest Women on the Planet". ..and yes, she IS "bad".

Unbeknownst to many, Ms. Malveaux has a degree from Harvard and a Masters in journalism from Columbia. Imagine.."looks" and BRAINS to match.

Personally, we're glad Mr. Obama is happily married, because if Suzanne were following The Professor around on HIS presidential candidacy, you can bet there'd be some "scandal" in the back of the campaign jet.

So, as is tradition, WE SALUTE YOU, Suzanne Malveaux.. Go on wit' ya bad self!

The NBA Playoffs... or "How I am trying to Wean Myself off of Professional Sports Once and For All"

I’m not watching the NBA playoffs this year. I didn’t really watch all that much of last year’s playoffs either.

The NBA sucks. There. I said it.

I will admit tho’ that the Western Conference was entertaining..as I watched the HIGHLIGHTS on ESPN. I refused to watch an entire game, EVEN in the West.



I have to admit, I really enjoyed seeing the hornets and Chris Paul lighting it up, when no one thought, or KNEW, they had a chance in hell to do ANYTHING.

Seeing the sometimes 7-team race for no. 1 was truly surprising and a welcome change from the forever-tiresome National “Boring” Association.

There were times when you thought the Spurs were just waiting to erupt, even tho’ I knew they were drained from playing all those games long into June.. [the season is WAY too long].



There were the Utah Jazz [who MUST change their name! There IS NO JAZZ in freekin UTAH!]. You had to know Jerry Sloane had something up his sleeve. And with Deron Williams tearin up the point, it was fun watching the “Jazz” keep pace with the perennials.



Then there was them got-damn LAKERS. Everybody’s favorite team to HATE.



The Zen-Master and his No. 1 assassin, the Mamba were always scratching at No. 1. Every time I looked up I had to see Kobe slammin on somebody’s dome and then givin’ them that “..now you know you caint stop me…so why even try??” look.



Can’t forget about Tracy Mac’s Houston squad that was killin fools mid-season with Philly’s own “Skip-To-My-Lou” doin his best And-1 imitations on the Association courts.. HAD TO LUV THAT. I was really happy for T-Mac. But we all knew it wouldn’t last and that with, or WITHOUT Big Ming, the Rocks were getting BOUNCED in the first round..



I wasn’t watching their games either..

And how bout them TRADES. Woooo! Had to luv the big-boy trades this season, huh? Pow-Pow goin to the Lake-show from Elvis-town.. Shaq-too-old-to-be-a-Diesel being let out of the HEAT directly into the SUN only to get his ass burnt up.



And can’t forget the Kidd going to the Mavs only to be treated like a “kid” by a KID (Paul) in the first round.



Oh what fun it was…and I never watched a game. Oh and by the way, notice I haven’t mentioned the East. Well, that’s because the “East” is really not in the NBA, they’re kind of a “C” league. Kind of a cross between the old CBA and the Harlem Globetrotters of ’79. You get the picture..and it aint pretty.



Luv the Ceatles tho’. Like Jesus. Like the Ticket. Like Stabby Pierce.



Actually..Like Doc (Rivers) too.. [he’ll never be the “real” “Doc”, so let's just call him "Glenn".]


So I like the Ceatles. And they won 66 this year. One more game than my beloved ’83 Sixers won when they tore up the League…WHEN IT WAS A LEAGUE!



But here’s the kicker.. Does any TRUE Basketball fan think:

1. The Ceatles 66 wins are as valid as ANY team in the 80’s winning 60-65 games? And..
2. The ’83 Sixers wouldn’t SWEEP these Celtics by an average margin of 20 points per game if they were to have a series today?

The proof is in the pudding.. KG’s Celts almost got bounced by the bibby-hawks… THE BIBBY-HAWKS!! ..you gotta be sh$%$#% me... Naaaah.. 66 wins “today” is worth about 40 wins in a REAL NBA. An NBA that is long dead.



And guess what.. I didn’t watch any of their games either.

So, I’m listening to folks talk about the NBA, with 1/3 of it foreign born players who actually have an acute knowledge of the game. I give them credit. Parker can PLAY. Barbosa can PLAY. Manu can PLAY. DUNCAN…can PLAY.



If it weren’t for the FOREIGNERS, the NBA would truly be a dead league. I’d almost rather watch highlights of “the Rucker”. But have you ever seen a Rucker game.. Well, if you like dudes that have no regard for team basketball and would get RUN out of a gym by a Div ll school, then you’ll LUV the Rucker.



But, believe it or not.. I sojourn on this blog to say that, not only does the NBA blow.. But I am trying..DESPERATELY..to wean myself off of basketball. And eventually, all professional sports in general.

There is mass interest in watching how these teams do. It is perplexing to me. I have friends that are really into seeing who wins these playoff games..(!!) I wonder.. “Why?”

It’s strange to me.



I have predicted that the Lakers will NOT win the championship this year.

If, by chance, the Lakers DO win the championship.. Guess what? I won’t care. Not one bit. Matter of fact, someone will probably have to TELL me if they win cause..(that's right) I probably won’t be watching.

Who do I want to win? Nobody. And everybody. It doesn’t matter. It’s entertainment. Its sports. It’s unimportant.

Professional athletes, at least in the major sports, are GAZILLIONAIRES. And ya know what..they don’t give a rat’s ass about YOU.

It always cracks me up to see those United Way commercials, or the NBA Cares commercials. You know these guys are going to these events because it’s in the contract. They’d do ANYTHING to get that check. And they’ll tell you too! The amazing thing is that nobody calls it for what it is.. GREED. But in America, “Greed is good”.


I’m not buying it. I don’t live thru NBA ballers. They are young, gifted and tall. And they don’t give two damns about the town they’re playing in or the fans that pay mortgage payments to see them run around and make money.

I’ve seen enough basketball. I watched the Gar Herd shot in my friend J.R.’s living room with him and his dad in 1976. I was 12. I also watched the earlier games of that series because I liked Jo Jo White because of his name..and also cause he looked weird to me.



I saw Rick Barry win his championship with Golden State.

I watched Dennis Johnson and Downtown Freddie Brown kill the Bullets in ’79.. I liked the fact that everybody on the Sonics wore a chain around their neck while playing.. I was 15.



I used to watch the ABA games on the old TVS stations in Holly Robinson’s brother’s (Matt Robinson) room.



Matt had a real-life steel hoop and backboard in his ROOM and I was astonished that his parents let him bounce a real basketball and shoot in a REAL hoop IN HIS ROOM! (entertainment people are truly strange).


I’ve seen enough basketball and the best of it is behind us..WAY behind us.

To me there have only been 3 individuals who could have made the jump from High school to the NBA. They are:

1. Wilt Chamberlain
2. Moses Malone
3. LeBron James

That is it. Even KAREEM “needed” Wooden’s tutelage AND the rule against dunking to allow big Lew to become a near “perfect” big-man.



..And yes I remember when dunking CAME BACK to college basketball.

The NBA playoffs are upon us yet again. ..yay.

A millionaire will hoist a gold trophy in the air wearing a baseball hat and a t-shirt saying that his team has won the championship. The millionaire will run to the locker room and get showered with champagne and will probably stick a nasty-tasting, stinky cigar in his mouth, doing his best impression of a corporate fat-cat or a syphilitic, 20’s era, Chicago gangster known for murdering people for a living. And millions will watch and be truly happy for that millionaire and that team.. That millionaire’s team winning will mean a joyous occasion for someone and a disgraceful day for someone else who has nothing better to do.

I’ve seen it all before and not once has one of those players come thru the TV set and asked me if I could share some of their money for winning, or if I could go to the after-party with them or, had the decency to thank me for watching them make even more money playing a kid’s game.

Nope... wont mean jack-sh$# to me.

The Ultra-Hot

I don’t know where I find the energy.. This weekend was, for all intents and purposes, a fully-booked vacation. The weird thing is that I never knew it was coming. I neither expected nor planned for the weekend I experienced.

In a nutshell, I went to traffic school..NOT GOOD, BUT..I met a 19-year old blonde; helped the buxom brunette who lives on a yacht in the marina with a leak she was having on the boat; left there to join my former band-mate at a bachelor party at his house over looking the bay..where, just so you know, a tall, sophisticated blonde and her youthful brunette playmate put on a full penetration porno show; then went to a beach-house party and played a few tunes with some musicians; THEN went downtown to party at my favorite club ‘til 2. That was merely Saturday’s schedule!

Sunday, I joined Ricci, his roommate “Lyte” (a graphic/airbrush artist from the Bronx) and Wes, an old friend of Ricci and I, for a little excursion to the San Diego Hard Rock Hotel for their weekly Vegas-style beach party.. This lasted all day long.

..Which brings us to this installment of the BSG.

I do not believe I need to bore you with the details of each and every event that your Professor attended this fateful weekend.. ohh no. The story of this installment is that I am the parakeet and YOU are the coal-miner. I am the messenger, here. And I am telling you..something is going on in Southern California.

I live in the land of the “Ultra-Hot”. It’s not that the general public doesn’t already realize that this part of the planet is not overrun with the “scourge” of the beautiful human being.. No. What’s going on here is much more sinister.

As temperatures rise, as fuel prices rise, as anger, animus and anxiety all rise…so goes the flight of the beautiful person from their dinky little town to la la land; to disney land; to endless summer; to paradise... which just happens to be in my backyard.

What I witnessed at the Hard Rock was nothing short of spectacular…and unnerving.

Why are they here..?

We’ve discussed in the past the “reasons” for the beautiful person “migration” to sunny California. We’ve discussed the “weather”, Hollywood, the “options” to do and be whoever, whatever, HOWever you want to be..

But… there is something else.

These Ultra-Hot individuals are starting to turn up in greater numbers. The Ultra-Hot are breeding with each other and producing otherworldly entities that “pass” for human beings but they are much closer to “Titans” as far as I’m concerned.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_(mythology)

During our stay at the Hard Rock, Ricci, Lyte, Wes and I had the privilege of being invited to join a modeling troupe who were tasked with modeling a new brand of underclothing called “Big-Headed”.

To our obvious chagrin (I’m being sarcastic) we had to sit and watch perhaps 12 of the finest human beings to grace the planet earth be fitted for, prance around in and be photographed in tight fitting underwear for about 2 hours… OH THE SHAME OF IT!

There were names like “Sofia” and “Angelica” and "Tristen".. they were Blonde, brunette, highlighted-off-color, very short, model-tall, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Black/White/Japanese…and some were…well we DON’T REALLY KNOW for sure..But one thing I know they were NOT…and that would be UGLY.

Ricci said something very interesting as we watched this parade of earthly lusciousness stand at attention for the bevy of photographers, including our good friend Wes… Ricci made me take note that the vision of those people on “that stage” was like looking at a live and in person Benetton ad. There was literally every “shade” of pigment that you can imagine represented. At that moment, Brazil had NOTHING on my little part of southern California. At that moment, San Diego, Cali WAS the center of the universe..And it was good. I didn’t care to be anywhere else in the world…except maybe in the apartment of one of those models I was staring at. (There were male models there too, but we aint talking ‘bout them.)

There was a model we dubbed “Crazy Eyes”. Oh how her parents MUST be proud. Ricci and I literally believe Crazy Eyes can see in the dark. Ricci says her eyes are gray. I think her eyes are aqua/green.. The truth is that her eyes are translucent and ridiculous. No human being on the planet should have eyes that look like that and she should be arrested immediately. Her looks are an inherent HAZARD and she should be put under house arrest until she ages and is fit for human viewing. She’ll STILL be the finest MILF on the block when she’s let out in 20 years, but AT LEAST she can walk down the street without causing a traffic calamity. ..I’m not joking. (By the way.. “Crazy Eyes” is the 2nd from the left in the below photo.)

Then there was…ALIEN. (ALIEN on the left, Crazy Eyes on the right)

Ricci and I have gone back and forth all morning discussing this Cloverfield-esque monstrosity. In my 11 years here in San Diego, I’ve seen some monsters with colorful names:

there was Elizabeth, codename: "Ms. Superbad";
there was Kristy, codename: "FitMod";
there was Monica, codename: "Too Tight";
there was Misty, codename: "Supa’star";
there was Janelle, codename: "Typhoon";

..All the extreme of the EXTREME…

But never have I seen a creature such as the Black/White/Japanese conglomeration of human being named Angelica, who Ricci and I proclaimed as codename: "ALIEN".

Alien could not have been called anything else BUT “Alien”. In reality, I’m not sure if she really is “of this Earth”(?)

(ALIEN is in the facing pic in the middle and in the "line-up" pic above 2nd from the left)

Alien, with heels (god bless her) stands about 5-9. From top of her head hair follicle-to-tip of the toenail, this woman is as close to perfection as I’ve ever seen.

She is lean, muscular and BUILT...but in a finesse sort of way. It was obvious she worked out, but it wasn’t obvious that she worked out every day.

She has the body “stylings” of a svelte, athletic Black woman, but the subtleties and the “lines” of a statuesque White woman.

She has a Black woman’s butt, but “nuanced” by the White and Japanese woman in her.

Her face is flawless. The Japanese DNA seems to have made her face very “soft”, and her eyes are somewhat Asian-like but not enough to allow your brain to think “Asian” immediately when you first see her.

Her complexion is coffee latte, heavy on the cream.. I swear I could “smell” the amoretto as she walked by.. There are some women men want to “eat”, they look so good. This girl made you want to DRINK her. Just smooooothe all the way down.. NEVER have I seen a woman that I wanted to “drink”. Absolutely astonishing.

Seeing “Alien” in little more than underwear was a great thing indeed. However, it wasn’t until, as fate would have it, that I happened to run into her again later on that evening on the streets of downtown San Diego did I bear the full brutality of this girl’s presence.

As I was standing outside a famous sushi restaurant in downtown San Diego, after my day at the Hard Rock, I was talking on my phone to my friend BernaDave..waiting for my sushi. As I’m talking to him, noticing the sights, I happened to look down the street. About a block and a half down I noticed this “shape” strutting in my direction. Now mind you, from that distance I could ONLY tell that what I was looking at was a woman..a fully realized, grown-ass WOMAN..and she was WALKIN!

I quickly interrupted my conversation with Bernadave and exclaimed: MY GOD..! this town is teaming with hot chicks…DAMN!” I continued to watch in anxious anticipation as the creature came closer and closer into view. I stared incessantly.

At first I thought this “shape” was that of a transplanted Miami-lawyer, whom I met months earlier, who was heavily into fitness. She had come out here with her boyfriend (bad-idea) and somehow things “didn’t work out” (go figure).

But as the “shape” inched closer I could see that THIS particular creature was taller than I had remembered the lawyer had been..and this woman was clearly more strident in her walk, almost a “professional” walk..

As the woman came closer, the horror built to a crescendo..my worst fears and greatest excitement came to pass as I realized that the monster approaching me was none other than..the ALIEN! I came to find out that Alien was just coming back from an audition for a network television show that was based on "Fear factor".

The Alien was so much more magnificent in CLOTHES than I had ever thought to imagine. I had not even ventured the thought that I had been admiring this person all day at the Hard Rock at her most BASIC! Alien had been 3 quarters NAKED the whole day! If Alien was the hottest chick on the planet with nearly NOTHING on…(gulp)… imagine… just imagine, this human being DRESSED to KILL…

The realization was akin to finding religion. What a chick. WHAT-A-CHICK!

Now, of course I tried to get my rap on. You HAVE to know that. And I knew she had a boyfriend because the dork was at the photo shoot and had the nerve to be one of the “models”. Believe-you-me..he didn’t look THAT good to be one of the models..But he DID bring the “stunner” so I can’t blame them for puttin him in. I also found out that she was no more than 22 years old and that she considered her boyfriend "old" because he was an ancient "30".

Alien stood in front of me looking me dead in the eyes. She was just as stunning up close..and had a very pleasant personality as well.

I watched her walk away until she turned the corner. She walked away as she had approached: by herself. Just another hot chick walking into the california sunset. I swore I heard theme music as she left..

I live in the land of the Ultra-Hot.

Not too much more to say about it, actually. And maybe everyone already knows this and I’m just having trouble getting used to it..

But I am saying this: I’m living in a place where “hot” is the norm. And it's getting "worse" by the day.

I’m just doing my level best to take advantage of it.

Sean Taylor: Nigga Shit Pt. II.. and the the effective results...

This blog had me pacing. I'd like to give a very serious disclaimer regarding this one. I AM NOT A RACIST, I AM A PRETTY PROUD AMERICAN -WHEN WE DO HUMANELY GOOD THINGS-. However, with that pride there is a sense of freedom of speech which I am getting ready to exact that is ugly.

Images and characterizations below are almost paramount, biblical, mandate-ish, in their discussion and statement. I'm almost sorry I've decided to write this blog, very, essentially, sorry I'm putting out in the public... YET proud that I'm doing so because someone has to say this and no one is doing so at this point.

WARNING: this will be the longest blog yet on this forum. If you arent a reader... be warned, you are getting ready to read and YES Chris Rock, I know who will NOT be reading this blog.

Blogs are close to freestyle rapping. They come out like vomit when they happen and different events, pictures. movies, and/or other items of consequence tend to trigger them. I am sorry about any spelling or grammatical errors I miss.. I'm NOT being edited -sort of like MSNBC writers.

This blog was triggered by my interaction with The Professor and several writers and board posters on the WWW.

If I havent already, let me tell you a little about me and The Professor: I am an graduate educated guy having walked away from my dissertation in Microbiology and Immunology without writing my degree. As you can see, my fear of writing is minuscule. I can write for days at a time if I am inspired and my thesis degree project, as assigned by my professor was dull, to me. So I walked away when offered a chance to move from the East Coast to the West Coast because in my heart and soul, I've always wanted to come out here. My dissertation was to regard the physical construction of the genome of Streptococcus gordonii, a strange little bacterial that inhabits the mouth soon after birth. YAWNnnNNn...

I moved to San Diego in 97, bumped into the professor, earned a "new brother" and soon after left my lucrative career "consulting to patent attorneys" because they knew I had the science background.. minus the Ph.D. Sort of like a person with a masters degree -lol. I'm now a writer and filmmaker trying to do what we do "make it". I'll never leave this place.

My compatriot, The Professor holds a degree in Law, yet he really doesnt use it either, his reasons are his own. He can tell you when he gets crazed by American events and finds a need.

Both of us are BLACK, African American, Negro, NEEEEEGROW....

This blog was squeezed out of me by the death of Sean Taylor, a defensive player for the Washington Redskins -the irony of the name, Washington REDSKIN, will either be pointed out more throughly, or not... but you've got a hint of some of the strange issues my American society is providing me right there.

Hang in there with me, I will try to be as entertaining and perhaps thought provoking as possible.

Lets number the sections.

Section 1. Who I am NOT, and with what I am associated (NOTE: if you do not read "good writing" often, please hang in there .. I will try to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition -which apparently is allowed now, but not by my dead grand dad who lives in my head).

Okay, THIS is a gorilla.
Wonderful racists on the planet enjoy saying Black people are gorillas.
NO, we are not -hold on.

Okay, this is a chimpanzee (not a MONKEY hooded idiots).
Wonderful racists on the planet enjoy saying "dont they look like little niggers"..
No, we dont -hang in there.

This post is going to emotionally hurt so if you havent read THIS BLOG of ours please read it first so you understand from where we are coming.

This is an orangutan.
Again, NOT me, not me at all, not anyone I've ever met. Though .. never mind.

and THIS, is a Bonobo, one of the most social animals on the planet, having a matriarchal society and even evidence of tool use -which used to be used as the classification of what separates US -humans- from ANIMALS.

Now with that understood by any crazed Klansman that has stumbled upon this blog, let me tell you WHY you have been wrong in classifying any Black American with these animals.

THEY DO NOT KILL EACH OTHER AS A RULE. Nor do they destroy their environment/homes.
GOT THAT..

Black Male Americans DO!
We kill each other.. often... Me and the Professor have one real concern, due to our visual relationship with all of "our Black Community", in that America in 2007, as evolved into a place that lumps groups of people together based on color and country of origin to such an extent that The Professor and I (did I tell you The Professor is black as well?) read and watch the news like many others like us, with fear that something, somebody, some event will happen somewhere involving a Black person, and it will DIRECTLY EFFECT our lives due to a blanket coverage that is given to us as a "group".

Oh.. there may not be many segueways in this piece. I may jump around, but trust me, YOU WILL "GET IT" at the end... mainly because I will give it to you. Also, I have wonderful Windows Vista on this new laptop and it was supposed to come with a full version of Microsoft Office -it didnt-, so I'm composing in a small cramped window!!!!

Okay... we got the monkey/gorilla racist crap out of the way for the black folks out there who have had to, even today, deal with people who slip periodically and compare black people to Apes. We have settled the argument that Black People are different than Apes because we have a habit of killing each other.

Now, let me tell you, there is a writer I enjoy reading periodically who writes for ESPN Page 2 named Jemele Hill, called by your's truly "Jimmy-Lee". She has an article on the net right now that deals with the Redskin Defender's death. LINK. In the article she points out the many strange society ills that effect/affect (I always use those words together, ok, maybe not always) young black men like our own Mr. Sean Taylor. In her article she cites that since 1990 (or so) young black men have a six times higher chance to die via MURDER than other races both in America and world wide. -stop-

Follow me:

DNA's essential structure was discovered and elucidated by Watson, Crick and Franklin (I always give her credit because without her, Watson and Crick than simply a professor). Watson recently came under fire because he says, claims, that black people are genetically inferior to other races. THIS infuriated me because I have witnessed in my own life that I am smarter than other people. I was NOT the person to fail the preliminary exam required to pursue my Ph.D., a test that covers two years of intense study at the graduate level at Temple University Medical School. NO. The person who failed that test was NOT BLACK.. so what is Watson talking about... WAIT... perhaps me, and others I know are somewhat mutated..? Perhaps there are a group of us who have our KILL RANDOM INNOCENT PEOPLE OVER STUPID ASS SHIT are different. After all, I'm alive, I did not add to or produce any dead black young men by the time I was 24, or older... it bothers me to the core of my being that I can not explain this discrepancy, however, I have The Professor as a friend and confidant and he is wayyy more Uncle Rukus than I am. He has stood steadfast that something makes US (black people) different that isnt related to poverty or racism.

I was both perplexed and elated because I could release my pain.

I've protected, for years, that black folks station in life is a result of "the media". I've screamed that what we see in the media leads to young black men behaving the way that we do. I've hollered that its not our fault, it is that we stand out due to our contrasted hue! But The Professor argued back; are you hinting that OUR people are soooo simple that IMAGES lead our lives..? That we as a "people" have a six times higher chance of dying before we are 24 beecause we are THAT STUPID. "How about", The Professor would say, "we have something IN US as a group that can be pulled back, reduced, stopped and/or mutated, that leads some of us to be simply SAVAGE! Ugh... noooo... NOOOO.. that can not be...

Then he points me to the Southern "horn" of Africa, the few million that have been slaughtered, the premiere/president/leader of one country who claims to cure aids with a strange concoction he uses after having extramarital sex with infected hookers... I can only tilt my head like a puppy, curious, wondering.. where is the argument. If I argue that particular leader, who has a society in his hands who have an AIDS rate higher than most promiscus homosexual communitys PRE-1984, I'm stuck either saying he's stupid.. ..or his cure works -remember my education. CRAP.

He points to the high murder rate, and explictly tells me.. HOW HARD IS IT TO NO KILL A MUTHA FUCKA??? HOW HARD IS IT TO FOLLOW THE LAW...? HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST BE-FUCKING-HAVE???... and this always leads to me trying, digging, searching for an answer. Well, I have none.....

So, I started this saying it was forced out of me because of Sean Taylor's murder. The reason that is important is:

Morning Commute: Saving the DOG

You know the deal.
I drive to work and periodically something will be stated on the radio that makes me realize that again, either I am truly from another planet, another dimension, perhaps another era, or, I truly live amongst IDIOTS.

First, let me say that I've missed the strange morning radio program that has a segment where men or women call in to have the radio hosts phone a person they recently dated to find out why the person hasnt called them back after a few days post-date. I'm okay with that. Every time I get to hear that segment I find myself one more added day closer to moving to a mountain top, getting dark glasses, and working on my U.S. Postal rules.

Now, having missed that little segment hasnt freed me from dealing with other aspects of morning radio that are simply frustrating and mind numbing. For example, there is a DJ here in San Diego who apparently gets paid for his "work" who reads us listeners the news. That would be fine if the idiot could READ. Without fail, every single day, when it is his turn to provide us with top entertainment related news items, he stumbles through each sentence/word as if he was in the god damn 6th grade. SADLY, I think the dude is black, so they will probably keep him on the air because he is perfectly continuing the stereotype: He cant read, well; He is a notorious skirt chaser; and his ignorance (along with his co-workers) about the field in which he is earning a living is pedestrian at best, but closer to simple farm animal intelligence in the least.

So, it is today, that I get to hear this idiot stumble through news items regarding Mario Lopez. Your wondering, what did the news entail? What did Mario Lopez do? I really do not remember. I honestly was listening and then the IDIOT and for the love of god THE GUY WHO ESSENTIALLY RUNS THE PROGRAM decided to start making comments about Mario because, as they said, "The dude is obviously an idiot, I mean, he (insert buck toothed laughter here) is the guy who cheated on the Doritos chick".

Uh, first of all, the "Doritos chick" not only has a name, but if you work in the entertainment industry and you fail to have a brain that doesnt fire off perfect neurons when your mind passes over the idea of Mario Lopez CHEATING ON ALI LANDRY, YOU SHOULD GIVE UP THE MIC AND GO BACK TO MCDONALDS.

I was at a loss.
You dont do that. That would be like me sitting here on a sports blog and suddenly saying; yeah, I dont think we will have many more great heavyweight boxers like that "Im the greatest" guy who is all sick and shaky nowadays.

Its a sign I tell you. A sign that we are limited to what we remember from a few hours ago, and we are being entertained by idiots with low IQs -which is why Howard Stern is a billionaire. He would NEVER make any of the mistakes above and HE CAN READ!!!

So, let me get back to the commute.

DJ Idiot is reading the news and he tells me this story, in this manner:

Dog the
bountyhunter
recen-tly found
he recently foundhimself
under fire due to because of
because of some comments he made to
some comments made duringaphone call with his son... [screw it, you get the point, THE GUY CAN NOT READ]

THE STORY: DOG the bounty hunter was speaking with his son in a private conversation and he said nigger... many times. He told his son, who is dating a black woman, that he would like it if he either got another job or if he leave his girlfriend. His reason is that on his job, at his "office" Dog tends to use the word nigger often and wanted to make sure his son's black girlfriend didnt hear him use the word and then bring down his budding television career.
DOG said at least three things that made me feel sorry for where his TV career, and life, will be going as a result of the tape: ONE he said that she wouldnt understand that when him and his ilk (other bounty hunters) use the word, they arent using it in the old southern, hateful, soulless black coon creatures of the earth way (which is funny because that is what black guys say); TWO he said he didnt have a problem, as his son already knew, with his son dating a black woman; and THREE, she wouldnt understand it and he knows for a fact she would ruin his career with some damn racism "indictments" that werent warranted.

If you didnt know what DOG looks like, now you do. I've watched his show. Watched about 10 minutes of it and realized it was "Cops" without cops.

I think about DOG and his statements and realize he's right. I KNOW he says nigger. I KNOW he says nigga. WHY DO I KNOW THIS... first READ THIS BLOG ENTRY.

FINISHED? GET IT?... If you would like I will add to that ENTRY one more wonderful addition of "nigga shit"; "Da Brat" is in trouble currently because she's at the center of an altercation in which a waitress "bumped into her" at a restaurant/club, which led to some shoving -because of course in a crowded club bumping into people is all about disrespecting a mutha fucka- and finally led to the waitress walking away only to then get BOPPPED upside the head with a champagne bottle. Lacerations ensued.

DOG hunts PEOPLE WHO DO NIGGA SHIT! DOG HUNTS PEOPLE WHO CALL EACH OTHER NIGGA SO MUCH you'd think you were at a Klan rally. IF you are hunting niggas, and you see a nigga or you catch a nigga, you know what you say in your own world, around your own company, within your own circle? YoU SAY WE GOT THAT NIGGA, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT NIGGA.. we are going to GET THAT NIGGA. HOW do I know that is what he would say? Because, when I see a black man on the run from the law because of some "nigga shit" I say "oh they are gonna catch that nigga and potentially beat his brains in before arresting him".

I have no problem with DOG. The guy is sincere in his apology I'm 100% certain of it. DOG is not a racist, dog is what most of our celebrities really are when you wipe away the fame and money; poor white trash that made it big (or bruthas from the hood who made it, vatos from the barrio who got out.. etc.). The average celebrity is someone who is honestly living a dream that is very far from their original station in life.

So, I'm writing a lot so you KNOW I must have some sort of issue, and I do. See, getting back to being entertained on morning radio by dufus idiots, let me tell you what I was SHOCKED about with regard to this whole incident.

IT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE to unknowingly tape a telephone conversation without alerting the person that you may be taping the call. DOG has had his LIFE put on hold due to a conversation he had in PRIVATE with his own son about something he is 100% correct about. NO ONE mentions this! The National Enquirer (naturally) broke this story and my curiosity is why arent they libel for allowing a private conversation to be leaked to the public. Why arent they FORCED to give up the source of the tape, and if it is DOG's SON, well, there ya go -dysfunctional family got a lucky break, became somewhat famous, but the dysfunction has led to this moment-. THIS IS NOT like when Imus broadcasted his remarks (which I believe I have commented on -I had no issue with the "nappy headed" comment). This was a private conversation that someone taped. Someone committed a felony; DOG gets in trouble potentially on an international scale, and not one single intelligent radio host mentions this because DOG SAID NIGGER? IN PRIVATE!!! OH wait "single intelligent radio host" -my bad.. ROFL.. no such thing.

We have our priorities in a mangled bunch. There are black men and there are niggers. There are African American men, and there are niggers. There are white guys, and there are honkey, cracker, hillbilly redneck hick-ass-inbreeds. When in private ALL of us will use words to differentiate the species!

Orenthal James "OJ" Simpson: Once and For All. Now YOU can determine: ARE YOU RACIST?

OJ

Ojay

OHHH JAY…

Consider this my obligatory OJ post. Almost everyone has blogged about OJ at some point in time, and thus, I will get ALL of this off of my chest at once.

OJ is NOT guilty according to a prolonged trial that took place in LA some time in the 90s. Regardless of your feelings, the guy, according to the courts, did NOT kill his coke head wife and her very brave boyfriend. GET THAT CLEAR IN YOUR RACIST MIND and I don’t care what color you are, if you can not get that concept through your head, I’m calling you racist.

Now with that understood, lets move to the next thing you need to ask yourself. This is the true test of how you FEEL about people. How YOU feel about people's color. HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.

Does the image of this man, Robert Blake, evoke, emote, elicit the same feelings in your soul, in your being, in your body

as the image of THIS man, Mr. Orenthal J. Simpson?

IF you hesitated even for a moment, you are sicker than you think and you really need to walk up to every black person you know and simply say “I’m sorry, I’m one of the people who keeps you down. I am THE MAN, I am racist, and I didn’t even know it" (even if you are a woman).

See, regardless of what anyone says, the whole treatment of OJ, post-trial, really continues to remind every single person of color that they are truly second class citizens in this country. OJ and Robert Blake allegedly committed the exact same crimes. THEY allegedly KILLED their wives and the evidence against them BOTH essentially seemed, on paper, to be iron clad. OJ allegedly killed his WHITE wife and her WHITE action sport boyfriend. Blake, allegedly, killed his wife, wait a second, WHITE wife while she sat in her (his) car outside of a bar or restaurant. Both cases seemed open and shut. Both men appeared perfectly guilty.

However, Blake did something that we are apparently very used to. He killed his wife. HELLO!??! Join the club of a few thousand spouses who kill spouses every month Mr. Blake. OJ, however, did something WE ARENT APPARENTLY USED TO, or at least, it seems a MAJORITY of white America is far from accepting. OJ, a nice BLACK MAN, killed his wonderfully beautiful dip-dyed BLOND pretty and sexy as hell WHITE coke-head WIFE, who, as a black man, he apparently shouldn’t have had in the first place ESPECIALLY in the United States of America….. Plus, he allegedly even added the murder of the sexy and studly action hero boyfriend Ron Goldman to his killing spree.

NOW, to get this whole POST straight, I am not DEFENDING OJ, nope, all I am doing is DEFENDING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AN AMERICAN.. period.

I have no idea what happened the night little Miss Coke-Head and her biologically equipped dildo were murdered. Not a SINGLE idea other than what I have read and what I was shown by the media. I, as a person of color, have to be skeptical of what was shown to me, and what I was told because I have been mentally abused by the media on more than one occasion in my life, after all, Martin Luther King Jr. was a rebel trouble maker with communist ties, right??,,,, and if you don’t believe me ask Arizona’s “leaders” why they STILL DON’T HONOR him for his selfless dedication to equal rights for EVERYONE!

As an American, aren’t I supposed to accept the results of our legal systems bouts? Arent I supposed to accept that a man is innocent until proven guilty, and having no finding of guilt, aren’t I supposed to respect his innocence? I’m just asking? I mean, Robert Blake's "people" seem to accept his innocence.. Right??

OJ and MLK in the same post --- Yup, I’m trippin.

So, the quick rundown of what I was told, is/was, OJ, a man in his fifties, hid, confronted, attacked two people, each roughly one third of his age, with a regular old kitchen/butcher knife, cut his wife (I’ll put her name here now), Nicole’s neck nearly to the neck-bone, and managed to kill the action-sport-roller blading-waiter Ron Goldman either before or after killing Barbie (Nicole).

At the time this “crime” took place I was studying for my Ph.D. at Temple University Medical School in Philadelphia. I’ll never forget the reaction of my white, and very intelligent professors, especially in view of the way the rest of a more undereducated stupid white America behaved…

They did not believe that OJ did the crime. They did not believe it was possible without some advanced ninja training or at least some sort of military combat training to kill two 2 TWO people 1/3 of his age. However, LIKE ME, they did believe there was a very serious chance that OJ did know who did the crime. They also believed like most MEN, OJ did touch his wife when he “discovered” her dead on the ground and did make his way through the murder scene, clumsily, because he DID at some high level love the woman and would be totally freaked out seeing her with her head half cut off. SIDE-NOTE: this case always bothered me because, A) I’m a black guy, and B) I was married to an attractive woman, whom, if I found her half chopped in half upon returning home, even if I did “order the hit” I would be faced with the reality that she was gone forever and might have, perhaps, hugged, held, touched, groped (LOL) her upon finding her mangled and lifeless… The reason I KNOW this is what most people would do is because our stories, our myths, our books, our movies, always portray the living loved one embracing the dead loved one upon discovery of the dead loved one’s lifeless body. SO, as my professors agreed, and as I truly believe, sure OJ touched Nicole, and was party to contaminating the crime scene. SURE, OJ knew, potentially (see below for more “potentially’) who did the crime, and SURE he didn’t know he would change MY LIFE and other black American's lives FOREVER.

So here we are in 2007 (almost 10 years, if not 10+ years after OJ was accused of the murders). To this day, if a black man, A BLACK MAN, gets in and out of legal trouble he is equated with OJ Simpson. To this day, if you bring up OJ in mixed company (in the company of white people) you will get an almost unanimous look of anger. To this day, the “American legal system” is held i doubt by most Americans because OJ walks around “free” even though the assumption is he got away with murder. Yet, Robert Blake, again, a guy who allegedly killed his wife, or had her killed, gets ZERO affect/effects for not getting found guilty in a court of law.

Let me repeat that shit. ROBERT BLAKE, who allegedly killed or had someone kill, his WIFE, was found not guilty in a court of law, and to this day, I can bring up his name in mixed company, and a near perfect 10 out of 10 times not only do people NOT KNOW WHO THE FUCK HE IS, they do not get emotionally wrapped up with his “not guilty” verdict.

For the idiots and racists reading this post, lets get some similarities out of the way:

1. both men allegedly killed their wives.
2. both men were/are at a certain level CELEBRITIES
3. both men are wealthy and capable of hiring seriously intelligent and expensive attorneys to defend them.
4. both men had some “reason” to kill their wives.
5. both men were found NOT GUILTY.
6. both men had white wives.

Now, for the idiots and racists reading this post, lets work on the differences:

1. Robert Blake is WHITE.
2. OJ is BLACK.

Please, rest a second and perhaps re-read alllll of the above because at this point in the post you should, if you hadn’t or haven’t already, be really ready to question the way America treats OJ, or should I say, black people?... and for the sake of REPEATING IT ONE MORE TIME: OJ ALLEGEDLY KILLED HIS WHITE WIFE, ROBERT BLAKE ALLEGEDLY KILLED HIS WHITE WIFE…people kill their spouses DAILY.. and I give you THIS LINK as an example of a white WOMAN who shotgun blasted her PRIEST HUSBAND and is walking the streets to this day. IF you are an American, and IF you aren’t shaking your head quizzically with regard to our treatment of OJ, right now, YOU should just go and get your white pointy hat-hood................ RIGHT NOW!!!!

GEEEE ZUSSSS ----------------------

Without further, doo doo, let me bring you up to modern day craziness.

A young black woman was abducted, held, cut, abused and sexually molested, all while being called nigger, by a group of 6 hillbillies in West Virginia. This was in the news for about a week, maybe.

6 young kids in Jena Louisiana are being tried on charges of assault, battery and even, I believe, attempted murder (look up Jena 6), because they responded Malcolm X-ish (by any means necessary) to NOOSES being hung from a tree in their school yard as an attempt by some white students to claim the shady area of the tree as a “whites only” area. [NOTE: I’m not writing this from the past, it is 2007 where I am sitting and YES, that does say “whites only”] Apparently some fighting took place as a result of the noose-art. Go figure.

The above are two stories from recent news, another one I’ve already mentioned, which is the story of the white woman who killed her priest husband and was essentially let off because of her claim of mental abuse by her husband (who just happens to be dead and can not defend himself!). My recollection is she served about 5 months in prison, about 30 days in a mental facility, and is now making the news because she is attempting to gain custody of her children.

NONE of the people listed above will be denied access to a 5 star restaurant at the Kentucky Derby next year. However, OJ, was denied service at a 5 star restaurant at the Kentucky Derby this year, because the owner didn't want to serve "his kind" (the acquitted murderer kind).

Which brings us back to doe, dough, doe......D'OH!!!

Today, OJ is being held by a Vegas court without bail for attempting to retrieve some of his sports memorabilia from an apparent THIEF who stole said memorabilia. Ok, so its not that cut and dry. OJ was with some dudes, apparently a few of whom, or at least one of whom was ARMED (sort of lends some credibility to those who think OJ "knows" who killed his wife..). They entered a hotel room and, from listening to the audio clip of the encounter (see the crooked dealer actually had a tape recorder running ... don't even ask anyone why), pretty much attempted to retrieve OJ’s memorabilia from the alleged thief/dealer. ALL of the people involved have been on television and in the newspapers explaining what happened. Its my understanding also that everyone involved is walking around enjoying the free air, sunshine, life... Except OJ, who is perhaps the first ever accused robber to be held without bail, EVER, considering most importantly that he has A CLEAN CRIMINAL RECORD. REPEAT A CLEAN CRIMINAL RECORD. OJ SIMPSON a BLACK AMERICAN is being held without bail for a crime involving “guns” (none of which have been retrieved/retained by the police) in which it has been stated more than once that he, OJ, DIDN’T HAVE A GUN. WHY? What is this about? Is it because Robert Blake killed his white wife?

Another issue regarding OJ are the parents of his now dead coke-head beautiful blond sneaking around screwing little extreme sports guys on the side wife. Every time OJ has a chance to make a little cash the Browns and Goldmans try to grab some of the cash saying it is rightfully theirs due to a civil suit they WON against OJ regarding the death of their son and stank ho daughter. YES, I called her STANK HO because for once I’m going to be just as racist as this entire post implies the USA is, by saying her little wayward ho-stank-money grubbing white ass was with OJ because of his cash and in spite of America’s true feelings about interracial relationships.

Lets be honest here people, the average pink American feels NO LOVE or pain for the white woman who is married to an abusive black man. The average red necked American has NO LOVE for any white woman who has any relationship at all with a black man, period. HOWEVER, entire “negro” towns have been laid to waste should a black man (boy) make any comment about how they feel about a white woman. Thus, should a black man be accused (ACCUSED) of hurting/killing his white wife, suddenly, in America's eyes, her precious black snake moaning butt becomes Grade A American BEEF, and our country lynches the black monkey stud. [see the Life and Times of OJ Simpson for the metaphor to be clear]

OJ has been in a state of perpetual LYNCHING since being acquitted (ACQUITTED) of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. The Goldmans and Browns took advantage of the post-trial emotions of the country and had a civil suit with a jury of “objective” white jurors, who subsequently awarded them with millions of OJ’s dollars as payment for his direct involvement and relationship with the death of their children. GOT THAT! IF you for any reason make a ton of money, and for some bizarre set of circumstances, your wife is found murdered and you accused, should you be acquitted of the murder, her family may and can go after you for cash citing YOU as the cause of her death. PLUS the dude she's screwing on the SIDE, his family can come after you as well!!! NOW that is some ONLY IN AMERICA SHIT FOR YA.. not to mention, in my lifetime, OJ is the only dude, to my knowledge in HISTORY, who has lost this type of “civil suit” and spent the rest of his life with his people's hands in his pockets. PLUS, PLUS PLUS, the guy who makes the MOST noise, who has his noose the tightest around OJ’s neck is RON GOLDMAN’S father, not Nicole’s.

The dude who keeps OJ in check in the cotton fields is the guy who’s nasty, philandering son was screwing OJ’s wife! THINK ABOUT THAT!!! In most southern states, OJ would have been "legally" allowed to shoot that fool for sleeping with his wife in the first place! (Ok, not legally, but there are many places below the Dixie line that “understand” when a man shoots the dude who is screwing his wife). Understand this carefully, the man who speaks out the most against OJ Simpson, is the FATHER of a child who was willingly taking part in an adulterous relationship. WE are so racist, that WE as a country listen to this man at every turn, WE feel his pain and his loss, and yet, perhaps he is responsible for his son’s death because HE didn’t teach his own child about an essential aspect of life: DO NOT SCREW ANOTHER MAN’S WIFE IT MIGHT GET YOU KILLED. . .. good lord!!! Lets take Mr. Goldman to court in a civil suit regarding HIS responsibility in his son’s death!!!

Finally, I have not written this to protect or honor OJ (I think I've repeated this about three times). He’s a freak who could run a football, played in some goofy movies, dated some BAD ASS white women, got accused of a crime, was found NOT GUILTY, and has spent his ever waking second since being found NOT GUILTY, more guilty than Charles Manson. OJ is the last of America’s true slaves, living as a prisoner within his own country, probably totally confused that he can sit through a 4 hour autograph signing session and feel love from truly non-racist fans, and then in a heartbeat, find himself walking without bail towards the noose again for events in Vegas. From what I've read, the Vegas incident would generally result in any accused people heading home to await their trial dates .. OJ is America’s constant reminder to ALL black people that we are card carrying owners of the “second class” and that anything we think we have, is essentially ALLOWED to us, not a privilege, not a right, but an allowance.

ALL of this because Robert Blake killed his white wife.