The NBA Playoffs... or "How I am trying to Wean Myself off of Professional Sports Once and For All"

I’m not watching the NBA playoffs this year. I didn’t really watch all that much of last year’s playoffs either.

The NBA sucks. There. I said it.

I will admit tho’ that the Western Conference was entertaining..as I watched the HIGHLIGHTS on ESPN. I refused to watch an entire game, EVEN in the West.



I have to admit, I really enjoyed seeing the hornets and Chris Paul lighting it up, when no one thought, or KNEW, they had a chance in hell to do ANYTHING.

Seeing the sometimes 7-team race for no. 1 was truly surprising and a welcome change from the forever-tiresome National “Boring” Association.

There were times when you thought the Spurs were just waiting to erupt, even tho’ I knew they were drained from playing all those games long into June.. [the season is WAY too long].



There were the Utah Jazz [who MUST change their name! There IS NO JAZZ in freekin UTAH!]. You had to know Jerry Sloane had something up his sleeve. And with Deron Williams tearin up the point, it was fun watching the “Jazz” keep pace with the perennials.



Then there was them got-damn LAKERS. Everybody’s favorite team to HATE.



The Zen-Master and his No. 1 assassin, the Mamba were always scratching at No. 1. Every time I looked up I had to see Kobe slammin on somebody’s dome and then givin’ them that “..now you know you caint stop me…so why even try??” look.



Can’t forget about Tracy Mac’s Houston squad that was killin fools mid-season with Philly’s own “Skip-To-My-Lou” doin his best And-1 imitations on the Association courts.. HAD TO LUV THAT. I was really happy for T-Mac. But we all knew it wouldn’t last and that with, or WITHOUT Big Ming, the Rocks were getting BOUNCED in the first round..



I wasn’t watching their games either..

And how bout them TRADES. Woooo! Had to luv the big-boy trades this season, huh? Pow-Pow goin to the Lake-show from Elvis-town.. Shaq-too-old-to-be-a-Diesel being let out of the HEAT directly into the SUN only to get his ass burnt up.



And can’t forget the Kidd going to the Mavs only to be treated like a “kid” by a KID (Paul) in the first round.



Oh what fun it was…and I never watched a game. Oh and by the way, notice I haven’t mentioned the East. Well, that’s because the “East” is really not in the NBA, they’re kind of a “C” league. Kind of a cross between the old CBA and the Harlem Globetrotters of ’79. You get the picture..and it aint pretty.



Luv the Ceatles tho’. Like Jesus. Like the Ticket. Like Stabby Pierce.



Actually..Like Doc (Rivers) too.. [he’ll never be the “real” “Doc”, so let's just call him "Glenn".]


So I like the Ceatles. And they won 66 this year. One more game than my beloved ’83 Sixers won when they tore up the League…WHEN IT WAS A LEAGUE!



But here’s the kicker.. Does any TRUE Basketball fan think:

1. The Ceatles 66 wins are as valid as ANY team in the 80’s winning 60-65 games? And..
2. The ’83 Sixers wouldn’t SWEEP these Celtics by an average margin of 20 points per game if they were to have a series today?

The proof is in the pudding.. KG’s Celts almost got bounced by the bibby-hawks… THE BIBBY-HAWKS!! ..you gotta be sh$%$#% me... Naaaah.. 66 wins “today” is worth about 40 wins in a REAL NBA. An NBA that is long dead.



And guess what.. I didn’t watch any of their games either.

So, I’m listening to folks talk about the NBA, with 1/3 of it foreign born players who actually have an acute knowledge of the game. I give them credit. Parker can PLAY. Barbosa can PLAY. Manu can PLAY. DUNCAN…can PLAY.



If it weren’t for the FOREIGNERS, the NBA would truly be a dead league. I’d almost rather watch highlights of “the Rucker”. But have you ever seen a Rucker game.. Well, if you like dudes that have no regard for team basketball and would get RUN out of a gym by a Div ll school, then you’ll LUV the Rucker.



But, believe it or not.. I sojourn on this blog to say that, not only does the NBA blow.. But I am trying..DESPERATELY..to wean myself off of basketball. And eventually, all professional sports in general.

There is mass interest in watching how these teams do. It is perplexing to me. I have friends that are really into seeing who wins these playoff games..(!!) I wonder.. “Why?”

It’s strange to me.



I have predicted that the Lakers will NOT win the championship this year.

If, by chance, the Lakers DO win the championship.. Guess what? I won’t care. Not one bit. Matter of fact, someone will probably have to TELL me if they win cause..(that's right) I probably won’t be watching.

Who do I want to win? Nobody. And everybody. It doesn’t matter. It’s entertainment. Its sports. It’s unimportant.

Professional athletes, at least in the major sports, are GAZILLIONAIRES. And ya know what..they don’t give a rat’s ass about YOU.

It always cracks me up to see those United Way commercials, or the NBA Cares commercials. You know these guys are going to these events because it’s in the contract. They’d do ANYTHING to get that check. And they’ll tell you too! The amazing thing is that nobody calls it for what it is.. GREED. But in America, “Greed is good”.


I’m not buying it. I don’t live thru NBA ballers. They are young, gifted and tall. And they don’t give two damns about the town they’re playing in or the fans that pay mortgage payments to see them run around and make money.

I’ve seen enough basketball. I watched the Gar Herd shot in my friend J.R.’s living room with him and his dad in 1976. I was 12. I also watched the earlier games of that series because I liked Jo Jo White because of his name..and also cause he looked weird to me.



I saw Rick Barry win his championship with Golden State.

I watched Dennis Johnson and Downtown Freddie Brown kill the Bullets in ’79.. I liked the fact that everybody on the Sonics wore a chain around their neck while playing.. I was 15.



I used to watch the ABA games on the old TVS stations in Holly Robinson’s brother’s (Matt Robinson) room.



Matt had a real-life steel hoop and backboard in his ROOM and I was astonished that his parents let him bounce a real basketball and shoot in a REAL hoop IN HIS ROOM! (entertainment people are truly strange).


I’ve seen enough basketball and the best of it is behind us..WAY behind us.

To me there have only been 3 individuals who could have made the jump from High school to the NBA. They are:

1. Wilt Chamberlain
2. Moses Malone
3. LeBron James

That is it. Even KAREEM “needed” Wooden’s tutelage AND the rule against dunking to allow big Lew to become a near “perfect” big-man.



..And yes I remember when dunking CAME BACK to college basketball.

The NBA playoffs are upon us yet again. ..yay.

A millionaire will hoist a gold trophy in the air wearing a baseball hat and a t-shirt saying that his team has won the championship. The millionaire will run to the locker room and get showered with champagne and will probably stick a nasty-tasting, stinky cigar in his mouth, doing his best impression of a corporate fat-cat or a syphilitic, 20’s era, Chicago gangster known for murdering people for a living. And millions will watch and be truly happy for that millionaire and that team.. That millionaire’s team winning will mean a joyous occasion for someone and a disgraceful day for someone else who has nothing better to do.

I’ve seen it all before and not once has one of those players come thru the TV set and asked me if I could share some of their money for winning, or if I could go to the after-party with them or, had the decency to thank me for watching them make even more money playing a kid’s game.

Nope... wont mean jack-sh$# to me.