the Quagmire Files: Giggidy GIGEHDY!

The wonderful Professor of Black Sports Guy, is also known as CLUBMAN... Generally, Thursday nights are SideBar nights here in San Diego, but On Broadway hosted SAN DIEGO's HOTTEST MYSPACE CUTIES...

The Dialoge:
CLUBMAN: How do you GET this good lookin?? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!

Go-Go at On Broadway last night: Go-Go and her dance partner!
LORDY

Ricci: NICE... both are nice...!!!And with all honesty.. with ALL honesty, both of those chicks are truly fun to look at, but you couldnt pay me to get involved with them in any way cuz I aint Clubman, which is why I respect what you do BIG TIME!!

They look young and superficial. THOSE are the chicks that will be hangin at the mansion, drinkin my liquor and smokin my weed and potentially screwin my friends.. ALL I would demand is that periodically they flash their tits or bend over and pull their pants down.

Then I'll have that look like the Colonel in Boogie Nights and say "THANK YOU GIRLS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH" and walk away..with my stoogie.

"But thats just me, see I like cinema, particularly I like watching people fuck on films, thats me, its like, I like butter in my ass and a lollipop in my mouth, but thats just me." -that other old man in Boogie Nights. I tell ya man.. I KNOW I'm gettin old when I can tell you truthfully.. I just dont expect MUCH from these chicks other than the use of their bodies for some perverted pleasure.. and then.. nothing. Thats why I'd just rather pay them cuz there aint no 'try' to get in their pants.. YOU PAY and then they leave. GOGO has something about her that does seem somewhat 'bright' but the other chick really looks like she'd answer this question "what are you gonna do when you grow up?" by saying.. "HUH?".

and I'd be OUT.

Now if someone said: "Dude 300 bucks gets 1 hour. I'd say: I'll be back in 5 wit dat 3hunnie, and I expect the CLOCK to start when the pannies DROP ..

or get moved to the side -giggidy giggidy!

Professor: YOU KNOW....! Isn't that INTERESTING thatyouwould say that!! Go-Go DOES LOOK SMART, HUH??!! ....weird. I thought the same thing!

Eight Skeletons Found! - cool-

THE LINK: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17859626/

The story: Eight skeletons found, serial killer feared
All were located in 200-yard radius in woods near Fort Myers

The Best parts: the bodies were scattered around. There was no flesh on the bodies. The area is considered a great 'body dumping' sight according to the local authorities because of the amount of animals and insects that could help devour the flesh etc.

This is great stuff. They think they might have a serial kill because its not a funeral home dump -WHAT THE HELL IS A FUNERAL HOME DUMP- and they are keeping the story quiet so that they dont freak out the locals who must still live in caves since I'm reading about this story in San Diego and posting it on blog that can be read by everyone exept Chinese and North Koreans.

THE GREATEST PART OF THIS STORY is we, as people, as humans, are more concerned about SIX FOOT STATUES OF JESUS, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17874376/ and using religion to suffocate free speach, and believing whole heartedly in invisible forces wrapped into a word with three letters (GOD) than concentrating on literally helping to ensure that we just dont up and FIND 8 BODIES in the middle of the woods.

We are still cavemen, we arent anywhere near the exit.

One of the most horrifying things I've ever seen

MC ROVE

I think this is just awesome, and to think, they said Rap Music wouldnt last through the 80s, and now we have the guy who was supposedly responsible for masterminding the disenfranchisement of minority voters, actually dancing and lampooning music which was given birth by the same people he works to undermine. NOW THATS GANGSTA!

Scary place this US of A.

Movie Review: SHORTBUS

I saw the movie SHORTBUS last night....
If you havent heard about this movie you can check a quick synopsis on Wikipedia.. or keep reading because I'll post it, right..

HERE:
"Shortbus is a 2006 dramedy film written and directed by John Cameron Mitchell. It was released for widespread distribution in October of 2006, after premiering in May at the Cannes Film Festival. The film aims to 'demystify' sex by explicitly showing it on the screen in several scenes. Much of the sex in this movie, including several orgy scenes, is unsimulated. The film's working title was "The Sex Film Project". The film's final script was adapted and written in collaboration with the cast of the project (as is noted in the credits of the film). Its original concept was loosely based on a series of events known as the Lusty Loft Parties that occurred at DUMBA between 1999 and 2002, as well the weekly CineSalon, both of which were organized, in part, by Stephen Kent Jusick, who plays Creamy in the film."

Now, the only reason you may have heard about this movie is it was made by an American, vs. a European or Japanese director, and actually shows full penetration sexual acts. The other reason you may have heard about the movie is unlike pornography, this movie literally tries to have plots and subplots and characters which should draw in viewers and tweak some sort of emotional interest. HOWEVER, the movie is literally a skinemax flick with 'normal' looking people vs. the fembots and he-hunks found in porn and soft-porn "B" movies. When you get down to it, the movie has the sad stupid plot of a woman trying to learn why she can not achieve an orgasm. Intertwined is a suicide story and a gay male love triangle. The writers threw in some dominatrix related crap and added that the woman who cant have an orgasm has a husband who really wants her to beat him, which, of course, leads to him winding up with the dominatrix. For anyone who likes watching regular joes have sex, and I mean joes, janes et al., then this movie is for them. Otherwise, if you like your porn straight, or you like your porn gay, then it is highly suggested that you AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS because it can confuse the hell out of you watching a man and a woman have some serious sex, only to look over their shoulder and see three guys blowing each other, or a guy and a girl blowing one guy, or a guy fucking a guy while fondling a woman's breast. Lets just say the movie started with a guy trying to suck his own dick, and by the middle of the movie the same guy ejaculates on his own face and into his mouth (and remember this is real, it is shown, and you have NO DOUBT what you just saw).

If that is your cup-o-tea, THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU, if you prefer your porn full of impossible beauties and huge cocks.. stick to the adult movies made in the valley and remember YOU ONLY KNOW the name of this movie because it shows true explicit sexual penetration -straight and gay- and Americans are so sexually puritanical and closed mined, that it caught some media attention because 'oh my god, they are realllllly fucking arent they'.

'Urine in the Cup' desk.. part II

Its a bad sign when I have even started to question American athletes and potential steroid use. But its just too hard not to ignore ALL of the steroid busts over the last 5+ years...

I HOPE this guy isnt 'doping' but MAN, 4 new records in essentially 4 days. Shouldnt be long before other countries start demanding this dudes urine, blood, hair and saliva.

Phelps gets 5th gold, sets 4th world record

U.S. star, teammates win 800 freestyle; teammate Lochte breaks 2 marks

For the Professor..

For those of you out there, the Professor is a certified card-carrying boob man/breast man/tit man..and he's literally a Connoisseur... so without further .... hoo hooo.

HOLLYWOOD MADAM.. Love them whores!

This chick was on Howard stern today... good lord....the DEBAUCHERY!!

http://www.supermadamsecrets.com/home.html

You know what I like about her and her book.. it just goes to SHOW everyone, that STARS and very wealthy men are DIFFERENT cuz these dudes are generally already hittin some fine 'girlfriends' but its always ALWAYS nice to have some ASS that you pay to LEAVE!
you read about Ben loving titties.. ROFL.

check out this link:

http://www.celebitchy.com/3219/details_of_bruce_willis_hooker_orgy_not_for_under_18/

This chick was saying that famous actresses and porn stars work for her..I wanna know who THEY are. man, I wish I was famous...

Funny but from ONE quick scene in Pulp Fiction I actually KNEW that Bruce wasnt the American male 5 incher. Funny what is considered HUGE because he didnt look HUGE, but from my conversations with chicks who have been with more than one guy, and at least 5 or 6, 5 inches is just about what they see most of the time. Sad.
But I know BRUCE aint Lex Steele HUGE...

CBA News Desk and a lesson on CRAFTY

THE LINK:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/nba/03/28/richardson.cba.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

The HEADLINE: "CBA suspends Richardson Former NBA star to miss team's series after comments"

I dont know how to respond to this article brudda.

I mean, at some time we will HAVE to figure out how speaking the truth shouldnt be condemned and then someone has to explain to my WHY these statements are so upsetting to Jewish people.

Lets look at Micheal Ray Richardson's statements:

"They got a lot of power in this world, you know what I mean? -- isnt this a true statement? Its surely not unflattering.

"If you look in most professional sports, they're run by Jewish people." -- isnt this one true as well? Again, is this a put down?

"If you look at a lot of most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they're run by Jewish. " -I mean.. uh, hello, is this not true?

"It's not a knock, but they are some crafty people." -Is THIS the phrase that scares Jewish people.. being considered Crafty. I mean is this one the phrase that got him in trouble and does he know what CRAFTY means? Hell do I know what CRAFTY MEANS.. DO YOU???

Well here is a Dictionary.com defition of crafty: "skillful in underhand or evil schemes; cunning; deceitful; sly." SEE that would be WRONG, and should be punished cuz its messed up, however from his statements it doesnt seem like he would end what he was saying with a kick in the face.

Check out the OBSOLETE defition of crafty according to Dictionary.com
--skillful; ingenious; dexterous.

It doesnt seem like Mikey Ray was using CRAFTY in the way it is currently defined, the other definition of CRAFTY which is listed as OBSOLETE IS a total compliment right?

SO the question is, why has the good definition for CRAFTY been deemed obsolete and how do we not know that Dude was thinking CRAFTY meant a good thing??? I mean lets get into some reverse sensitivity training here.

In the meantime, who REALLLY cares about what is happening in the CBA anyway? Is this just an article to smear this guy because he a former NBA player.. who happens to sound like a total idiot?

Time for a URINE SAMPLE PLEASE...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17828392/ -the link.

THE STORY:
Phelps sets third record in as many days
U.S. swimmer wins 200 individual medley, is on track for 8 world golds

I hope the kid is clean, but sadly, within the last 10 years, the US has been loaded with roids, like the eastern block and germany during the 60s and 70s.

THIRTY HOURS OF SEX... 30!...

It was reported today that Puffy, P.Diddy, Sean Combs traveled to Paris with his baby's momma and they had sex for 30 hours.
THIRTY HOURS... just reading that, and now typing it, actually makes my penis hurt!

THIRTY HOURS.. I actually had to think hard about what that would require. I also want to know exactly what is going on during that thirty hours.. I mean honestly, what is there that I would do for 30 hours straight.. EVER?

Diddy-P-Puffy-Combs, I DECLARE SHINANIGANS!

It's all about the "PHYSICAL"

Ok, I been screaming this for years.. chicks PRIMARILY look at your physical appearance. It's all about the "physical" and HERE'S THE PROOF:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17834050/

TAKE THE QUIZ

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11242200/site/newsweek/ -- I didnt take it when I saw it had 44 god damn questions.. but thought I'd still pass it on should you want to try.

FORTY-FOUR QUESTIONS! THAT AINT A QUIZ THATS A FREAKING TEST!

Randomness: Halle Berry File

Note to Halle's man.. she wants kids. Well at least thats what they are reporting. Now I will go and pleasure myself thinking of these two re-enacting Halle's Thornton/Monster's Ball scene.

GONNA MAKE YA FEEL GOOD!!!

What I heard on the radio today

While driving to work I generally listen to Adam Corolla's radio show. Today he had as a guest the guy who hosts the television show "Pros vs. Joes". He's some former USC tailback who played with Carson Palmer and a few other guys who are now known professional NFLers. He was proud to mention he was a member of one of the worse USC teams in the history of USC....

So anyway, he's talking about something and then says the phrase "whiter than the face of god".

Its 2006 and STILL no matter who you are, you know your distance from 'godliness' is your distance from pure white.

The subtleties of racism are amazing.

Today's NBA... great or crappy....

Here we go again. About two weeks ago, maybe one, a writer with ESPN's page 2 crowned Kobe as a MUCH better ball player than Michael Jordan. The writer, Jemele Hill, has great skills as far as her pen is concerned, but she's a chick and must be under 35. Why? Because today's NBA sucks when compared to yesterday's and the players arent, as people wish, bigger, better and faster.

BUT NOW IT GETS WORSE. Because, ya see, when a woman steps up and starts saying things about the skill level in a sport like the NBA, well, just turn on the WNBA and you'll see why its not really possible for a chick to truly grasp NBA talent... But at the same time, while she's "ranting" its possible for YOU to do what most guys do when chicks start opening their mouths and speaking with authority on anything except menstruation .. you can just not hear her.. BUT WHAT ABOUT A MAN....

YES

Yet ANOTHER writer has hailed today's NBA as better than yesterday in view of the actual players. MICHAEL VENTRE states in a recent article "athletes across the league are far superior overall than they were in Wilt’s day, when defenses are more sophisticated, when scouting is more meticulous, when travel is more arduous (well, there’s more of it to more cities, but of course, the comfort level is far better now than back in the day) and when the pressure is higher than ever because of television and huge salaries."

To quote BORAT "Whuuuuuut!" How can both of these people be this dumb with regard to the league? Where does the brainwashing start and end. Are these writers serious? Is Ventre really a lady???

Where is PROFESSOR NBA?

Urbina Pitched in Philly -appropriately

Urbina gets 14 years for attempted murder
Free-agent pitcher allegedly tried to kill 5 workers at Venezuelan ranch

Do you know this story? Its about the former Philly Pitcher who was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family’s ranch, located about 25 miles south of Caracas.

The best part of the story, other than this dude BELONGED in Philly, is that his attorney said:"The ruling was too severe"

NOTE: DO NOT MOVE TO VENEZUELA, cuz seriously, machetes and gasoline... shit, what do you have to do to impress attorneys in Caracas? machetes, gasoline, uzi, glock, sawed-0ff....?

THE "OH DID HE NOW" FILE

Just watched this video again for, like, easily, the 35th time and I'm still laughing.



Its almost, no, it IS sad that today, some of the best shows on television for an adult are cartoons (Family Guy, South Park) or strange animated shows like Robot Chicken. Its horrifying to me that people are watching LOST, or New York chase dudes on her Post Double-Dis From Flav. I've been told I should watch 24, but I'm about 2 years and 24 hours behind so screw that show. PLUS how can I take Sutherland serious if he's not playing a redneck? You have to wonder if the early 80s was just a better time for television or were we so simple in our non internet, non-DVD, no-CD days, that watching a dude with a pompador haircut saying 'ayyyyy' was just that much more entertaining, ya know? ...?

HEY.. there is a NEW "N" WORD!!!

Did you hear about Serena and the heckling man.... LOL.. ROFL..
Well: “The guy said, ‘Hit the net like any Negro would.’ I was shocked,” Williams said. “I couldn’t believe it. I had to do a double take. I think I hit a double fault on that point.”

So the guy was heckling her, he claimed he didnt use the "N" word, and according to Serena he didnt use 'THE "N" WORD" he used the "n" word.

HIT THE NET LIKE ANY NEGRO WOULD>. I'm cryin. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.. LOL... I guess thats racist, except to my knowledge NEEGROWS havent been playing tennis long enough to have established any well-honed stereotypical behaviors .. have we. Arthur Ashe wasnt a Serve and Volley guy, he played along the baseline.

HE should have said: Hit the Net Like A ChinaMan would.. that might have made more sense.

The "Its Official Desk"

Gggggggggggreat.. ya know, PEOPLE DIE IN PHILLY .. we are gonna re-name Philly-llujah.

Here's a headline from today: "Teen Youth Leader Shot, Paralyzed Coming Home From Work"

a snippet:
"When a group of people approached a teenager getting off the bus in Upper Darby Monday night, the teen knew something wasn?t right. So he bolted.

But even the speed of a 17-year-old couldn?t outrun the bullet, and on Tuesday, police said Leon Harris -- a youth leader who was coming home from an after-school job -- was listed in critical condition and paralyzed from the chest down.

Upper Darby police said they arrested four people -- including 15-year-old Breon Jones, who they said was the shooter -- in connection with the shooting and attempted robbery that left the 17-year-old Upper Darby senior paralyzed from the chest down."

OUTSTANDING!!!! I think, currently, Philadelphia is killin black folks at a rate of 1.03 a day!
HOLD IT DOWN PHILLY HOLD IT DOWN...

Iraqi, U.S. forces attacked with chlorine bombs

GGggggggggggggreat.
You know.. people DIE in Iraq.

Shiite policemen enraged by massive bombings in the northern town of Tal Afar went on a revenge spree against Sunni residents there on Wednesday, killing at least 45 men

I love people killing each other for ethnic reasons... Brings back the smell of lynchins and neegrow-burnings... Just amazing how GOOD humans are to each other. Its probably safer being a rat, crow, cockroach, bird in Iraq than being simply a guy getting a haircut.
F' that place.

Baddest Women on the Planet...PERIOD

I'm tired of the mainstream media telling everyone who "looks good". This posting will be the DEFINITIVE vehicle to the road to sheer "super-bad-ness". EVVVVVVERY CHICK is invited! No profession too lowly, no "look" to slutty, no attitude too bitchy.. if you look GOOD, you're gonna get your props. This is only for the super-duper BAD.. So with that said....LET'S GET ONNNNNNNNNNN..wit the SHOW!!!

Luther Gene Ray, Jr. -and the NOT NEWS desk

I'm actually shooting myself in the foot here, but today in the news, Luther Gene Ray, Jr., who was named at birth to grow into a pimp.... well, HE WAS ARRESTED FOR PIMPING.
Guess what he did, he forced two teenage girls to have sex for money, and he demanded they give him the money or face physical harm! THE NERVE, I mean, what type of pimp is that? I have no idea why this article was printed, no idea why Luther Gene Ray senior didnt see or fear what would happen to Luther Gene Ray, Jr. , since I'm sure Luther Gene Ray senior is a great pimp himself and surely didnt want his son to enter the trade, but it happend, and he got arrested in Oceanside Cali -and this was truly a newsworthy event.
-'I'm a pimp by blood, not relation'-(jayZ)

Randomness

Okay, so, this is going to be a trial an error type of thing. One thing we will be bringing you at BLACK SPORTS GUY, is comments, conversations which used to take place via email between a few people. Yeah, sure, it might not be interesting to you, but we find that some of the comments that are exchanged are surely worth reading more than once, and perhaps by more than just the people involved. SO with that in mind, at the present time we are just waiting for one of the more techonolgically challeneged members of the exchange to figure out how to POST so that it becomes a dialogue. Till then, THIS POSTER, THIS BLACK SPORTS GUY, plans on doing some things to entertain himself... GENERALLY under the headers RANDOMNESS or THINGS I KNOW I'll post overall conversations that have been held via email but not posted here..or, 'things I know'..
LIKE, I KNOW people who played leap-frog more than a few times when they were young, at some time in their life, they will be part of a sexual situation involving more than one partner i.e. a three-way or an orgy. DONT ARGUE..thats just a THING I KNOW!

Best Player in the GAME

Today it happend, Prof. NBA got to hear something he's been preaching to his students since 1997.
MAGIC JOHNSON was finally considered the greatest B-Baller, finally getting one MJ in the right spot and moving the other to the side.

The Prof. NBA heard this on some ESPN related show.
Where did you hear it?