We Will Continue To Celebrate The Memory Of Your Visit

In memoriam of the upcoming 1-year anniversary of the King Of Pop's untimely passing, I thought I would revisit an email thread, between Ricci and Myself ("The Professor") that was written last year on July 2nd 2009.. It came as an impromptu reaction to the, then, SHOCKING news of Michael Jackson's death. Seeing as the 1 year anniversary of that fateful day is fastly approaching, here, in their entirety, were our reactions..and what I found later to be apt TRIBUTES, to a man neither of us thought we would miss as much as we do.

The words you are about to read are the transcript of two emails that were written by Ricci and The Professor on July 2, 2009..[I added the pics to add some sizzle and flava..Mike would have liked it that way..]

RICCI:

Michael Jackson…..

Dead?

I won’t waste time going through the rehashing.

Michael Jackson is dead.

In the words of the Professor: “..Charles Manson –ALIVE!? Michael Jackson – DEAD??”

No balance. No sense. Just plain humbling.

Well in the days since his death (Oh yeah, my sympathies to anyone who died during the Michael Jackson Death YEAR – like Farah etc) I’ve read a few articles online posted on some fairly reputable websites (MSNBC, CNN) which seem to be written by people who clearly do not know WHO Michael Jackson was, which is actually incredible.

We are talking about one of the greatest mutants in the history of man.


Bo Jackson –true mutant.. but “D-Level” when compared to Mike.

Michael Jordan –MUTANT but again, he cant hold the Man In The Mirror’s single shiny glove..

We could write a paragraph of human super-freaks and you will NOT be able to mention ONE who could honestly stand next to Mr. Michael Jackson.

How writers are missing the discussion of the true talent and genius of Jackson is confusing.

The fact that every article, OH, and every segment of broadcast information about him, seem to follow the same pattern is disturbing: Michael Jackson has died, brief clips of him as a child, discussion of him and his brothers in the Jackson 5, quick switch to him performing at the NAACP (BET?) Awards doing his signature “moon walk” (which by the way was being done by several million black teens BEFORE this evening, but heaven forbid we pay attention to black teens –yes SNARKY), then suddenly the discussion turns to allegations ALLEGATIONS of child molestation and plastic surgery.


LOOK, if that is the way you want to discuss one of the FEW TRUE NATURAL BORN PRODIGY/GENIUS HUMANS we may ever witness, FINE. But know this, its LURID. Its WRONG and being a black man, it just seems, as usual, somewhat strange… because I have a really serious gut feeling that if another person, of a different color, was entertaining ADULTS at the age of 5; BLOWING chart topping Motown Greats off of the planet by TEN, selling out SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND TICKETS for a concert in FIVE MINUTES –and is FIFTY!!!!...plus upon his/her death set a RECORD for downloaded music sales online.. I’d be watching many more in-depth features about this singular talent and how the talent will be missed, and how the talent should be appreciated, praised, and again, in the words of The Professor: potentially DEIFIED!




THE PROFESSOR:

Michael Jackson..dead.

Dick Cheney..still livin'..

George Bush..still livin'..

OSAMA BIN LADEN..still livin'..and making MIXTAPES(!)

...and Michael Jackson, DEAD.

Newt Gingrich..still livin'.

Charles MANSON..still livin'.

Kim Jon IL..had a stroke..in a country where starvation is the norm..still livin'.

..and Michael Jackson, DEAD.

Don’t make no kinda damn sense!

I could understand when Jim Morrison, or Hendrix, Joplin or Mama Cass left early..

I could understand why Marilyn Monroe checked out. There was always a quiet, beneath the surface, melancholy in each stunning photograph she took..

I understood Elvis leaving the building in his 40’s. Everyone saw that one coming..with the weight fluctuations, the heavy sweating under hot Vegas lights night in and night out..

But Michael Jackson..?? Devout spiritualist and humanist. A man so squeaky clean, growing up he was the bane of scorn and ridicule.

..and Michael Jackson, dead.


What I keep hearing in the wake of this sudden and tragic passing are eulogies of a “troubled” superstar.. ...“troubled”. Hmmm..

I wonder.

I guess John the Baptist was “troubled” with all the ridicule and animosity he had to endure with all that “messiah” talk.. Damn shame what they did to him when they cut his head off..

Moses, I suspect, was “troubled” seeing as tho he had to run from pharaoh for a living and take an entire “people” to the “promised land”..Some life that must have been..sucks to be him.

And then there was this cat, Jesus. ..Talk about “troubled”! Boy did he have to hear it, huh? With all that “being a Jew” stuff an’ all.. And let’s not talk about the trumped up charges and that execution thing.. Now THAT was “troubled”.

But I’ll be remembering Mike like I remember all those other biblical, larger-than-life, individuals..as superhuman, living deities. If Mike was “troubled” than he was in GOOD company.

Michael Jackson was a once-in-a-planetary-lifespan entity. To wit..ELVIS wasn’t a superstar at NINE years old. And ELVIS didn’t REMAIN relevant his ENTIRE life since childhood. As my colleague Ricci so eloquently put it: “when Elvis died..THAILAND didn’t cry.”

..When Michael died someone in THAILAND committed SUICIDE.

The Beatles were a quasar act.. they lit up the landscape, changed the vacuum of space around them and left it forever altered for time to come..but they came quick and went..quicker.

Marilyn Monroe was a product of other people’s projections. She was the original human pitrie dish.. She lived in a shell always looking out wondering..”why is all this attention on me..? what did I do?” You actually did nothing Norma Jean..you just look good and we all wanna wake up next to you.

Michael Jackson, on the other hand, was a genius…a prodigy..a musical force of nature.. Not like the forces of nature, like hurricanes and tornadoes WE know here on earth.. Michael was that perpetual planet-sized red STORM on Jupiter that started before us and will end long after..us. Earth has never known a “Michael Jackson”. And will never see a “Michael Jackson” ever again.

This needs to be eulogized. This needs to shouted. This needs to screamed. Every generation in every corner of the planet has been touched by something Michael Jackson said, sung, or wrote. What other figure can say that..? Perhaps…Jesus? Muhammad? But then again.. “those” guys were polarizing figures..

EVERYBODY loved Michael.

And it SHOULD be stated that Michael Jackson was an American Black Man. Oh, he looked like a kabuki transvestite..but “we” knew that MJ was all showbiz..and underneath..was a Black man.. which I suppose is why the so-called King of Pop is not getting his just due to this writer’s satisfaction.

What the critics say wont matter in the long run..

James Brown once said that: “people will ‘feel’ you before they ‘hear’ you.”


The world “felt” Michael Jackson. I suspect the world will know Michael Jackson for the next 500 years.. No matter what revisionists, or skeptics, or naysayers write about this superhuman being known as Michael J. Jackson...the fact remains that this planet has been inextricably altered by the presence of this man.

We “felt” him before we heard him.

He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are going to win the 2008-2009 NBA "World" Championship.








I've made this predicition before.. It was in DECEMBER of 2008 when the thought of the the once lowly Cleveland Cavaliers winning ANYTHING was laughable.



As a matter of FACT, when I made this bold prediction last year, I WAS INDEED LAUGHED AT, by my ex-drummer and running buddy BernaDave and his delusional, die-hard, laker fan of a brother, Danny.. Seizing the moment, I whipped out the trusty new fangled-21st century cell phone and videoed the moment..capturing the prediction and the requisite "guffawing" that followed..







Oh how I cant wait til June!

George Orwell once said: "He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future". I believe this sentiment with every fibre of my being.. And I apply it to the NBA.

Being a lifetime student of the game, albeit, an unwitting one, I've learned a few things.. One of which is: As long as human beings are made up of the same DNA, as long as basketball is played on Earth, and the main goal of the game is to put the "ball in the hoop"..then if you know the past, you'll know the future..FOR CERTAIN.


Lebron James is a MONSTER. He is the truth incarnate. He is a real life, "urban myth". If I were to "speak" of a "Lebron James" you would swear I was lying.. e.g. "Yeah..dude(!)..there's this cat outta Ohio that could have been a pro at 16.. he's about 6-9, can run the 40 in like 3.2 and shoots 60-foot jumpers on the regular..hittin all NET!" If you didn't see him every week on television, you'd SWEAR I was making it up.. But he's real. And BEEN real since Junior High school.

Tho' King James is a phenomenon and something people like to say they've "..never seen anything like...before!" LeBron has indeed been seen before.. A few times actually..



You see, LeBron James is Lew Alcindor, perhaps the most storied and spectacular high school baller there has ever been. In the age of limited press and television coverage, Alcindor may have been BIGGER than LeBron, or Magic or Pete Maravich, or Damon Bailey..or any other superstar schoolboy baller. And this was in the early 60's! And BOY how big Lew lived up to all that potential! I mean..talk about ACHIEVEMENT. There's a strong argument that Kareem is in fact..the G.O.A.T. He certainly has the stats, the championships, the longevity and the SHOT to prove it, now doesn't he..



LeBron James is Wilt Chamberlain.. A BEAST. The ORGINAL "Beast". Unstoppable, immovable, unbelievable, unimaginable. They CHANGED the rules to STOP Wilt. To S-T-O-P him. Had they not, the Dipper might have averaged 60 points a game and 40 rebounds! ..think I'm joking? Just ask people who played against him. Wilt could run.. He could jump.. He could shoot.. He could pass..actually led the league in ASSISTS because..HE WANTED TO. And..he was SMART.. The complete package..known for years as the G.O.A.T..and this was without question.



LeBron James is Michael Jordan. Yes..we have finally found a successor to His Airness. LeBron has the charisma, he has the leadership, he has commercials, and he has that uncanny ability on the court that leaves you wondering..is LBJ actually a "human being".. EVERYONE loves LeBron..from his teammates, to the media, to the fans, to the OTHER NBA PLAYERS.. How can you not?? Everyone loves to hate Kobe Bryant..but everyone just plain "loves" Bron-Bron. Bron has "IT". Whatever that is..he has it.




So, we've seen the past, but how does it calculate to now..?


The 2008-09 Cavs are the 1967 Philadelphia 76'ers and the '91 Chicago Bulls rapped into one package.. Each of those teams went on a rampage thru the NBA, and until it was over, went nearly unnoticed..



Sure the Sixers had Wilt..and he was a BEAST.. But Wilt was in his NBA PRIME. He was a grown man with at least 6 years of NBA schooling..having his brains beat out by legendary Boston Celtics' teams year after year..after year. How great a classroom must THAT have been! And in '67, Wilt was completely unstoppable. He knew he could score at will. He knew how make his teammates score at will. He knew how to rebound, when to block shots, how to space, when to pass, when to shoot, when to D' up..and WHO to D' up.. EVERYTHING about that team and the monster in the middle was CORRECT. There was no stopping that train that year and EVERYONE knew it.




The '91 Bulls had Mike.. beat up for 6 years in an NBA filed with a golden age of talent not seen since.. The Bad-Boys of Detroit routinely took Jordan's lunch money and left him bloodied in the back of the school playground.. But MJ kept holding on to his money, fighting the bullies every year. MJ got schooled by Larry in a shootout in '86 that many people forget, that Larry had 40 somethin and the CELTICS WON that game.. SCHOOLED.

..Until finally in '91..with a bunch of YMCA'ers, as they were ingnorantly called back then, Michael Jordan had the whole package. His Bulls team ran thru the NBA like a hot knife thru butter, destined for a showdown with the last remnants of Magic's showtime Lakers. EVERYONE KNEW Magic and Lakers were going to beat the perennial "loser" Mike Jordan and his YMCA'ers. "Scottie WHO??? ..from where..??? Central Arkansas?? Are you KIDDING ME!" Well guess what..the BULLS were GREAT. Scottie Pippen was GREAT. John Paxon was CLUTCH. Phil Jackson could COACH.




And that little talented North Carolina kid was a CREATURE..and very very ANGRY for being beat up after school for 6 years straight. A grudge and an "anger" that he would ravage upon the league for the next 8 years, nearly DESTROYING IT forever. And this is completely serious.





If you know these historical facts instinctively. If you realize what these individuals have done and their relative impacts to the game..then you see clearly how and why LeBron James has been here before. You see exactly why the Cavs tore thru the league and nobody noticed. How the Cavs were nearly UNDEFEATED at home..and nobody cared. How the Cavs led the league in nearly every statistical category..and nobody blinked. How the Cavs won 66 or 67 games and nobody gave them any credit..

It's been done before. You've seen this before. The Cavs are 8-0 in the playoffs as of this writing and JUST NOW people are beginning to look up and think..: "hey..the Cavs are actually pretty good..!" ..Sorry..TOO LATE people. You should have seen this LAST YEAR. It wasn't that hard to see if you were looking thru the correct lens.

LeBron James is going to win the NBA Championship this year. I'm not even concerned about it. I didn't even watch the first round of the playoffs. It was a waste of time. Lots of folks talked about the Celtics-Bulls series, with all the overtimes, the great shots, blah, blah blah.. NO FIRST ROUND series should EVER be considered as a G.O.A.T series.. That would be basketball blasphemy. I caught parts of it and, accordingly, it was an entertaining EXHIBITION. The '76 Celtics-Suns triple overtime classic was much better (understatement) and I watched that entire series when I was 12 years old.

Dont even ATTEMPT to talk to me about any first round series in 2009..PLEASE!















To the point..LeBron James is coming out this year in full royal regalia. He gets his coronation in June. You heard it here and I stand by it. There is indeed a reason for the saying: hindsight is 20/20.

History tells you everything you need to know.

Baddest Women on the Planet: Suzanne Malveaux

Yes, the BSG has found another gem. ..and this time we bring you a heavy-duty, power hitter from the neck UP.. The BSG is proud to induct CNN's own Suzanne [Sue-zahn] Malveaux into its pantheon of bodacious beauties known as the BSG's "Baddest Women on the Planet". ..and yes, she IS "bad".

Unbeknownst to many, Ms. Malveaux has a degree from Harvard and a Masters in journalism from Columbia. Imagine.."looks" and BRAINS to match.

Personally, we're glad Mr. Obama is happily married, because if Suzanne were following The Professor around on HIS presidential candidacy, you can bet there'd be some "scandal" in the back of the campaign jet.

So, as is tradition, WE SALUTE YOU, Suzanne Malveaux.. Go on wit' ya bad self!

The NBA Playoffs... or "How I am trying to Wean Myself off of Professional Sports Once and For All"

I’m not watching the NBA playoffs this year. I didn’t really watch all that much of last year’s playoffs either.

The NBA sucks. There. I said it.

I will admit tho’ that the Western Conference was entertaining..as I watched the HIGHLIGHTS on ESPN. I refused to watch an entire game, EVEN in the West.



I have to admit, I really enjoyed seeing the hornets and Chris Paul lighting it up, when no one thought, or KNEW, they had a chance in hell to do ANYTHING.

Seeing the sometimes 7-team race for no. 1 was truly surprising and a welcome change from the forever-tiresome National “Boring” Association.

There were times when you thought the Spurs were just waiting to erupt, even tho’ I knew they were drained from playing all those games long into June.. [the season is WAY too long].



There were the Utah Jazz [who MUST change their name! There IS NO JAZZ in freekin UTAH!]. You had to know Jerry Sloane had something up his sleeve. And with Deron Williams tearin up the point, it was fun watching the “Jazz” keep pace with the perennials.



Then there was them got-damn LAKERS. Everybody’s favorite team to HATE.



The Zen-Master and his No. 1 assassin, the Mamba were always scratching at No. 1. Every time I looked up I had to see Kobe slammin on somebody’s dome and then givin’ them that “..now you know you caint stop me…so why even try??” look.



Can’t forget about Tracy Mac’s Houston squad that was killin fools mid-season with Philly’s own “Skip-To-My-Lou” doin his best And-1 imitations on the Association courts.. HAD TO LUV THAT. I was really happy for T-Mac. But we all knew it wouldn’t last and that with, or WITHOUT Big Ming, the Rocks were getting BOUNCED in the first round..



I wasn’t watching their games either..

And how bout them TRADES. Woooo! Had to luv the big-boy trades this season, huh? Pow-Pow goin to the Lake-show from Elvis-town.. Shaq-too-old-to-be-a-Diesel being let out of the HEAT directly into the SUN only to get his ass burnt up.



And can’t forget the Kidd going to the Mavs only to be treated like a “kid” by a KID (Paul) in the first round.



Oh what fun it was…and I never watched a game. Oh and by the way, notice I haven’t mentioned the East. Well, that’s because the “East” is really not in the NBA, they’re kind of a “C” league. Kind of a cross between the old CBA and the Harlem Globetrotters of ’79. You get the picture..and it aint pretty.



Luv the Ceatles tho’. Like Jesus. Like the Ticket. Like Stabby Pierce.



Actually..Like Doc (Rivers) too.. [he’ll never be the “real” “Doc”, so let's just call him "Glenn".]


So I like the Ceatles. And they won 66 this year. One more game than my beloved ’83 Sixers won when they tore up the League…WHEN IT WAS A LEAGUE!



But here’s the kicker.. Does any TRUE Basketball fan think:

1. The Ceatles 66 wins are as valid as ANY team in the 80’s winning 60-65 games? And..
2. The ’83 Sixers wouldn’t SWEEP these Celtics by an average margin of 20 points per game if they were to have a series today?

The proof is in the pudding.. KG’s Celts almost got bounced by the bibby-hawks… THE BIBBY-HAWKS!! ..you gotta be sh$%$#% me... Naaaah.. 66 wins “today” is worth about 40 wins in a REAL NBA. An NBA that is long dead.



And guess what.. I didn’t watch any of their games either.

So, I’m listening to folks talk about the NBA, with 1/3 of it foreign born players who actually have an acute knowledge of the game. I give them credit. Parker can PLAY. Barbosa can PLAY. Manu can PLAY. DUNCAN…can PLAY.



If it weren’t for the FOREIGNERS, the NBA would truly be a dead league. I’d almost rather watch highlights of “the Rucker”. But have you ever seen a Rucker game.. Well, if you like dudes that have no regard for team basketball and would get RUN out of a gym by a Div ll school, then you’ll LUV the Rucker.



But, believe it or not.. I sojourn on this blog to say that, not only does the NBA blow.. But I am trying..DESPERATELY..to wean myself off of basketball. And eventually, all professional sports in general.

There is mass interest in watching how these teams do. It is perplexing to me. I have friends that are really into seeing who wins these playoff games..(!!) I wonder.. “Why?”

It’s strange to me.



I have predicted that the Lakers will NOT win the championship this year.

If, by chance, the Lakers DO win the championship.. Guess what? I won’t care. Not one bit. Matter of fact, someone will probably have to TELL me if they win cause..(that's right) I probably won’t be watching.

Who do I want to win? Nobody. And everybody. It doesn’t matter. It’s entertainment. Its sports. It’s unimportant.

Professional athletes, at least in the major sports, are GAZILLIONAIRES. And ya know what..they don’t give a rat’s ass about YOU.

It always cracks me up to see those United Way commercials, or the NBA Cares commercials. You know these guys are going to these events because it’s in the contract. They’d do ANYTHING to get that check. And they’ll tell you too! The amazing thing is that nobody calls it for what it is.. GREED. But in America, “Greed is good”.


I’m not buying it. I don’t live thru NBA ballers. They are young, gifted and tall. And they don’t give two damns about the town they’re playing in or the fans that pay mortgage payments to see them run around and make money.

I’ve seen enough basketball. I watched the Gar Herd shot in my friend J.R.’s living room with him and his dad in 1976. I was 12. I also watched the earlier games of that series because I liked Jo Jo White because of his name..and also cause he looked weird to me.



I saw Rick Barry win his championship with Golden State.

I watched Dennis Johnson and Downtown Freddie Brown kill the Bullets in ’79.. I liked the fact that everybody on the Sonics wore a chain around their neck while playing.. I was 15.



I used to watch the ABA games on the old TVS stations in Holly Robinson’s brother’s (Matt Robinson) room.



Matt had a real-life steel hoop and backboard in his ROOM and I was astonished that his parents let him bounce a real basketball and shoot in a REAL hoop IN HIS ROOM! (entertainment people are truly strange).


I’ve seen enough basketball and the best of it is behind us..WAY behind us.

To me there have only been 3 individuals who could have made the jump from High school to the NBA. They are:

1. Wilt Chamberlain
2. Moses Malone
3. LeBron James

That is it. Even KAREEM “needed” Wooden’s tutelage AND the rule against dunking to allow big Lew to become a near “perfect” big-man.



..And yes I remember when dunking CAME BACK to college basketball.

The NBA playoffs are upon us yet again. ..yay.

A millionaire will hoist a gold trophy in the air wearing a baseball hat and a t-shirt saying that his team has won the championship. The millionaire will run to the locker room and get showered with champagne and will probably stick a nasty-tasting, stinky cigar in his mouth, doing his best impression of a corporate fat-cat or a syphilitic, 20’s era, Chicago gangster known for murdering people for a living. And millions will watch and be truly happy for that millionaire and that team.. That millionaire’s team winning will mean a joyous occasion for someone and a disgraceful day for someone else who has nothing better to do.

I’ve seen it all before and not once has one of those players come thru the TV set and asked me if I could share some of their money for winning, or if I could go to the after-party with them or, had the decency to thank me for watching them make even more money playing a kid’s game.

Nope... wont mean jack-sh$# to me.

The Ultra-Hot

I don’t know where I find the energy.. This weekend was, for all intents and purposes, a fully-booked vacation. The weird thing is that I never knew it was coming. I neither expected nor planned for the weekend I experienced.

In a nutshell, I went to traffic school..NOT GOOD, BUT..I met a 19-year old blonde; helped the buxom brunette who lives on a yacht in the marina with a leak she was having on the boat; left there to join my former band-mate at a bachelor party at his house over looking the bay..where, just so you know, a tall, sophisticated blonde and her youthful brunette playmate put on a full penetration porno show; then went to a beach-house party and played a few tunes with some musicians; THEN went downtown to party at my favorite club ‘til 2. That was merely Saturday’s schedule!

Sunday, I joined Ricci, his roommate “Lyte” (a graphic/airbrush artist from the Bronx) and Wes, an old friend of Ricci and I, for a little excursion to the San Diego Hard Rock Hotel for their weekly Vegas-style beach party.. This lasted all day long.

..Which brings us to this installment of the BSG.

I do not believe I need to bore you with the details of each and every event that your Professor attended this fateful weekend.. ohh no. The story of this installment is that I am the parakeet and YOU are the coal-miner. I am the messenger, here. And I am telling you..something is going on in Southern California.

I live in the land of the “Ultra-Hot”. It’s not that the general public doesn’t already realize that this part of the planet is not overrun with the “scourge” of the beautiful human being.. No. What’s going on here is much more sinister.



As temperatures rise, as fuel prices rise, as anger, animus and anxiety all rise…so goes the flight of the beautiful person from their dinky little town to la la land; to disney land; to endless summer; to paradise... which just happens to be in my backyard.

What I witnessed at the Hard Rock was nothing short of spectacular…and unnerving.

Why are they here..?



We’ve discussed in the past the “reasons” for the beautiful person “migration” to sunny California. We’ve discussed the “weather”, Hollywood, the “options” to do and be whoever, whatever, HOWever you want to be..

But… there is something else.

These Ultra-Hot individuals are starting to turn up in greater numbers. The Ultra-Hot are breeding with each other and producing otherworldly entities that “pass” for human beings but they are much closer to “Titans” as far as I’m concerned.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_(mythology)

During our stay at the Hard Rock, Ricci, Lyte, Wes and I had the privilege of being invited to join a modeling troupe who were tasked with modeling a new brand of underclothing called “Big-Headed”.



To our obvious chagrin (I’m being sarcastic) we had to sit and watch perhaps 12 of the finest human beings to grace the planet earth be fitted for, prance around in and be photographed in tight fitting underwear for about 2 hours… OH THE SHAME OF IT!

There were names like “Sofia” and “Angelica” and "Tristen".. they were Blonde, brunette, highlighted-off-color, very short, model-tall, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Black/White/Japanese…and some were…well we DON’T REALLY KNOW for sure..But one thing I know they were NOT…and that would be UGLY.



Ricci said something very interesting as we watched this parade of earthly lusciousness stand at attention for the bevy of photographers, including our good friend Wes… Ricci made me take note that the vision of those people on “that stage” was like looking at a live and in person Benetton ad. There was literally every “shade” of pigment that you can imagine represented. At that moment, Brazil had NOTHING on my little part of southern California. At that moment, San Diego, Cali WAS the center of the universe..And it was good. I didn’t care to be anywhere else in the world…except maybe in the apartment of one of those models I was staring at. (There were male models there too, but we aint talking ‘bout them.)



There was a model we dubbed “Crazy Eyes”. Oh how her parents MUST be proud. Ricci and I literally believe Crazy Eyes can see in the dark. Ricci says her eyes are gray. I think her eyes are aqua/green.. The truth is that her eyes are translucent and ridiculous. No human being on the planet should have eyes that look like that and she should be arrested immediately. Her looks are an inherent HAZARD and she should be put under house arrest until she ages and is fit for human viewing. She’ll STILL be the finest MILF on the block when she’s let out in 20 years, but AT LEAST she can walk down the street without causing a traffic calamity. ..I’m not joking. (By the way.. “Crazy Eyes” is the 2nd from the left in the below photo.)




Then there was…ALIEN. (ALIEN on the left, Crazy Eyes on the right)



Ricci and I have gone back and forth all morning discussing this Cloverfield-esque monstrosity. In my 11 years here in San Diego, I’ve seen some monsters with colorful names:

there was Elizabeth, codename: "Ms. Superbad";
there was Kristy, codename: "FitMod";
there was Monica, codename: "Too Tight";
there was Misty, codename: "Supa’star";
there was Janelle, codename: "Typhoon";

..All the extreme of the EXTREME…

But never have I seen a creature such as the Black/White/Japanese conglomeration of human being named Angelica, who Ricci and I proclaimed as codename: "ALIEN".



Alien could not have been called anything else BUT “Alien”. In reality, I’m not sure if she really is “of this Earth”(?)

(ALIEN is in the facing pic in the middle and in the "line-up" pic above 2nd from the left)

Alien, with heels (god bless her) stands about 5-9. From top of her head hair follicle-to-tip of the toenail, this woman is as close to perfection as I’ve ever seen.

She is lean, muscular and BUILT...but in a finesse sort of way. It was obvious she worked out, but it wasn’t obvious that she worked out every day.

She has the body “stylings” of a svelte, athletic Black woman, but the subtleties and the “lines” of a statuesque White woman.

She has a Black woman’s butt, but “nuanced” by the White and Japanese woman in her.

Her face is flawless. The Japanese DNA seems to have made her face very “soft”, and her eyes are somewhat Asian-like but not enough to allow your brain to think “Asian” immediately when you first see her.

Her complexion is coffee latte, heavy on the cream.. I swear I could “smell” the amoretto as she walked by.. There are some women men want to “eat”, they look so good. This girl made you want to DRINK her. Just smooooothe all the way down.. NEVER have I seen a woman that I wanted to “drink”. Absolutely astonishing.

Seeing “Alien” in little more than underwear was a great thing indeed. However, it wasn’t until, as fate would have it, that I happened to run into her again later on that evening on the streets of downtown San Diego did I bear the full brutality of this girl’s presence.

As I was standing outside a famous sushi restaurant in downtown San Diego, after my day at the Hard Rock, I was talking on my phone to my friend BernaDave..waiting for my sushi. As I’m talking to him, noticing the sights, I happened to look down the street. About a block and a half down I noticed this “shape” strutting in my direction. Now mind you, from that distance I could ONLY tell that what I was looking at was a woman..a fully realized, grown-ass WOMAN..and she was WALKIN!

I quickly interrupted my conversation with Bernadave and exclaimed: MY GOD..! this town is teaming with hot chicks…DAMN!” I continued to watch in anxious anticipation as the creature came closer and closer into view. I stared incessantly.

At first I thought this “shape” was that of a transplanted Miami-lawyer, whom I met months earlier, who was heavily into fitness. She had come out here with her boyfriend (bad-idea) and somehow things “didn’t work out” (go figure).

But as the “shape” inched closer I could see that THIS particular creature was taller than I had remembered the lawyer had been..and this woman was clearly more strident in her walk, almost a “professional” walk..

As the woman came closer, the horror built to a crescendo..my worst fears and greatest excitement came to pass as I realized that the monster approaching me was none other than..the ALIEN! I came to find out that Alien was just coming back from an audition for a network television show that was based on "Fear factor".

The Alien was so much more magnificent in CLOTHES than I had ever thought to imagine. I had not even ventured the thought that I had been admiring this person all day at the Hard Rock at her most BASIC! Alien had been 3 quarters NAKED the whole day! If Alien was the hottest chick on the planet with nearly NOTHING on…(gulp)… imagine… just imagine, this human being DRESSED to KILL…

The realization was akin to finding religion. What a chick. WHAT-A-CHICK!

Now, of course I tried to get my rap on. You HAVE to know that. And I knew she had a boyfriend because the dork was at the photo shoot and had the nerve to be one of the “models”. Believe-you-me..he didn’t look THAT good to be one of the models..But he DID bring the “stunner” so I can’t blame them for puttin him in. I also found out that she was no more than 22 years old and that she considered her boyfriend "old" because he was an ancient "30".

Alien stood in front of me looking me dead in the eyes. She was just as stunning up close..and had a very pleasant personality as well.

I watched her walk away until she turned the corner. She walked away as she had approached: by herself. Just another hot chick walking into the california sunset. I swore I heard theme music as she left..

I live in the land of the Ultra-Hot.


Not too much more to say about it, actually. And maybe everyone already knows this and I’m just having trouble getting used to it..

But I am saying this: I’m living in a place where “hot” is the norm. And it's getting "worse" by the day.

I’m just doing my level best to take advantage of it.