Just to step out of the ugly world of "American Societal Ills" discussions, lets now discuss our fabulous legal system, wealthy men, and disputes settled between neighbors.
This story features a wealthy Texas Oilman, John Cantrell vs. his neighbor wealthy attorney Gregory Shammoun, and essentially illustrates exactly how far we have come since the days of revolvers, cattle rustling, and general 'hayseed' activities.
THE SET UP: Shammoun and Cantrell are neighbors who were having a conflict over a shed Shammoun was building in his backyard. Apparently, being very civil and a man of society, Cantell reported his dislike of the shed to the city, and claims Shammoun, angered by his complaint, brought a donkey to live in his own backyard. The problem, Cantrell says Shammoun purposely brought one of the loudest donkeys on the planet. These two men of society, civil gentlemen, leaders of their communities found themselves in court, and witness to perhaps, the first time in history a DONKEY took the stand on its own behalf.
YUP, these hidden hayseeds let this argument build to the point where a DONKEY was sworn in and served as its own testifying witness by proving in court that it wasnt a loud braying animal.
Should I even say anything more? Turns out these two gentlemen settled their dispute while the jury was deliberating. My thoughts: their meth must have finally wore off after sitting in the court for a while, and they realized "hey, are we really here with a donkey on the stand just because of a shed in your backyard"...?
When a beast of burden is used to leverage a conflict between two wealthy and successful men, you KNOW you live in a place that is very very backwards.
Oh, I forgot, the Donkey's name is BUDDY.
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