1865: On second thought, y'all in the South..can GO!

What a way to come back from the California Bar Exam. Here I am...feeling all good about myself. "wooo, look at me.." Healthy American male. Being all I can be. Oh yeah..I just happen to consider myself a "Black man", simply because that is how I am "perceived" in the good ol' U.S. of A. But, incredibly, I never let that "bother" me, living here in beautifully VACUOUS” Southern California, because, Hell, I'm an AMERICAN and a HUMAN BEING. That whole “Black thing” is a figment of America’s sordid imagination.

Hmmm…ignorance is bliss, aint it..?

Well, well, well.. So, my good friend Ricci is updating me with all of the news I missed during the past 3 ½ months and he tells me about this ESPN article written by Jemele Hill (whom Ricci humorously refers to as: “Jim-ilee”). The story OF COURSE is about our favorite dog-fighter/trainer/killer…Michael “Con” Vick (a professor’s Blog about Mr. Con-Vick WILL be coming shortly you can “belee dat”).

Well, Ms. Hill happened to mention the Jena 6 (pronounced: “Jeeenuh”)in her story about Vick.

Now see.. I “thought” I had heard about this story during my time of Bar-study. But I hadn’t had any time to truly get into the meat of it. Well, I have PLENTY of time now, and I spent half of the day researching this “gem” of Southern Americana”.

I want to take this time before I GO OFF on this story to THANK this “great” nation for officially stirring me from my ¼ year hiatus of pursuing academic endeavors. "Thank you" America..and especially to those of you in the American South. Yes, you lovely, God-fearin’, bible thumpin’, tooth challenged folk down there have done it again. ..And just when I had the unmitigated gall to “think” that you had perhaps run out of racist ideas to come up with to sink EVEN LOWER in the pantheon of human disgraces against the Planet Earth…you went ahead and fooled me again. Shame on me.

The good folks of the AMERICAN SOUTH have come up with the Jena 6 of Jena, Louisiana.

Jena,_Louisiana

Now, I won’t go into the gory details about this case. I ask you all to read the link and then do your own research.

But I will say this about this case: This case is straight out of Nineteen Fifty-F****** THREE [1953]. In this shockingly BELIEVABLE story you have all of the classic ingredients for a good ol’ fashioned American fairy tale of lynching those "ornery naggerrhs". You have:
- the deep south heat, humidity, and tension;
- a gaggle of young, strong, healthy, virulent, athletic black American teenagers, NONE, mind you, over the age of 18;
- a sweaty white power structure;
- some cackling white teenagers who obviously learned their classic race-hatred/fear from their cartoonish southern parents;
- a hangman’s noose;
- the ubiquitous “tree” (of course to string the “darkies” up from);
- trumped up charges;
- a “trial”;
- the obligatory “all-white ‘jerrayhh’”;
- a conviction that only seems to shock the black teenager’s weeping, overweight mother, who OF COURSE, has an un-pronounceable first name (I think her name is “Ceseptla” [I’m not making this up]);
- and the specter of this once promising young man’s future going up in smoke for 20-25 YEARS based on sheer, unadulterated, racist BULLSHIT.

[as you can see, the Professor is about to go into vintage RAGE mode]

As I mentioned I will not go into detail about the facts of the case. And I don’t have to for this blog because I’m here only to make commentary..which is this:

I am BEYOND “sick” of hearing about CONTINUOUS, ONGOING, PERSISTENT, UNRELENTING dumb shit resonating primarily in the AMERICAN SOUTH!

Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t those God-forsaken MF’S L-O-S-E the Got-Damn civil war??!! WHY am I STILL having to deal with their ass-backward, 18th century, slave-ship loving, country ASSES??!! WHY!!!!

You know folks, I’m writing this with the kind of seething, insipid, “anger” that can only be illustrated by the feeling you know an “ALIEN” has when he’s about to bite thru your chest while spewing acid.

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There is no reason for injustice like this, in this little God-forsaken town in backwoods Louisiana, to go unpunished. Why is the Federal government NOT in Jena, LA. You have a case where a WHITE teen pulls A SHOTGUN out, points it at a BLACK teen. And the superhuman, HEROIC BLACK teen somehow wrestles the SHOTGUN away from the gun-toting teen and RIGHTFULLY refuses to “give the gun back”. In this little AMERICAN TOWN, don’t you know they charged the BLACK SUPERHERO TEEN with (I “almost”cant bear to write it) T-H-E-F-T!!!! ANNNNND “aggravated ROBBERY”.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!

When I discuss politics with my Mom I seem to always end the conversation with: “Ma, I don’t care who wins the election..I just don’t want to hear another SOUTHERN ACCENT in the White House!!!” And you know what folks, I absolutely mean that. I don’t wanna hear a Carter, a Clinton, a Bush (Jeb OR George), a Edwards, a Ford (Harold-TN), a Johnson, a Truman, a Jefferson…I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT!! NO MORE GOD-DAMMIT!!! I'm F'n DONE!!
The South LOST. They shouldn’t be runnin’ nuthin! And they damn sure shouldn’t be allowed to let racist District Attorneys run hog-wild in a small, racist, backwater piece of shit town (that actively campaigned for a KLANSMAN [David Duke]) to effectively “lynch” 6 young black CHILDREN for standing up against terrorism. Yes, I said TERRORISM.

Terrorist threats were made, collectively, against these 6 young, prime of life BOYS and the minority African-American population, as evidenced by:

1. The ignorant audacity of the local white population establishing a “white-tree” to use for shade, then: 2. completing the terrorist crime by hanging NOOSE’S (multiple nooses mind you) from said tree as an act of a primal-savage threat to the other sentient human beings (the Black folk) that have the gross misfortune of having to share their living space with insane, nazi-like Neanderthals, who happen to be SOUTHERN and WHITE. You know, I actually apologize for besmirching the “Neanderthals’” good-name. Hell, they probably didn’t have a racist bone in their body, what with all the cave-dwelling and saber-cat hunting..

So, I thank you American South for succeeding in reminding me that, yes, I am Black and that this, in fact MATTERS, in the United States of America.

The good news is that 1 day, being white or black or some shade of hi-yellow or red wont even matter. It will be laughable that people were somehow “this ignorant and uncivilized”.

1 day, folks will say: “I can’t believe how backward people are these days!!! I mean, these people are living in the ‘stone-ages’!! YOU’D THINK WE WERE HOUSE-DWELLING AMERICANS BACK 3000 YEARS AGO, FOR GOD’S SAKE!!

Morning Commute No.2 - Rumors??? Kobe Divorcing?

As stated in the Morning Commute No.1 blog, these morning commute sections will not be very regular, unless I happen to hear something on the radio on the way to work that simply makes me laugh, or initiates some heavy thought. Generally speaking I listen to the radio in the morning, however, periodically I'll find some new music, or some music created by artists I know, and then pop in a CD in the morning and blare my new found music as loud as I can for a few days/weeks making sure I keep in touch with my deeply embedded, yet cherished, inna-nigga.

So with that stated, and without further doo doo..

1. I was listening again to a station here in San Diego that has this strange segment where they call a person who apparently went on a date with a person who has called into the radio station. The deal is that the person who calls into the station is wondering why the person with whom they went on a date, for some reason, has not called them back. LET me step out of the story for a moment and say that I listen to this segment for the same prurient reasons people watch shows like Jerry Springer, or that messed up show on MTV where they show people hurting themselves doing extreme sports like riding rails on a skateboard, or jumping rooftops on bikes -and not making the jump, or finding the rail embedded into their, now broken, faces-. I hate to say it but its a sickening curiosity. Why you ask? Well, I hope, most people who have ever been on more than one date, should understand that when a person doesnt call, chances are the person does not want to speak with you or see you and that should be enough information. I listen to this show because I'm floored that guys and girls want to know, WHY.
WHY?
WHY?... Naturally there have been more female callers than male. Go figure.

So, today, a chick called in to find out why a guy hasnt called her back after having, what she felt, was a great date. Apparently the date was so nice, it ended in extended conversation in the guy's car before she got out of the car and went into her place.

No sex on this date. [just thought I'd mention that because the callers are pretty good about letting you know if they "did the nasty".]

So, the DJ calls the guy and the segment begins. The DJ reminded the guy about the date, asked the guy why he hasnt called the girl back, and the game is afoot.

In this particular case, the guy said that he really though the chick was cool, but there was something that happened post date, that had nothing to do with her personality (we will get back to "her personality" later). Now, to let you know, generally by the time the "did not call back" person finishes their portion of why they didnt call back, the other "did not get called back" person is screaming things like; "you punk ass bitch cheating lying no good mutha fucking piece of shit".
This time the "did not get called back" chick was quiet, very quiet. I thought she was quiet because the guy continuously kept saying "dont get me wrong, she's a really nice very cool girl, and we had a great time, and the conversation in the car was really fun and awesome. Its just that after the date, something happened and I just couldnt bring myself to call her back".

So I'm thinking, WHAT?? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED. -and trust me at this point a little part of me is holding a gun to its head upset that I even care-

The DJ does his job and gets the guy to elaborate. The guy explains that he went home from the date that night, went to sleep, got up in the morning to go to work and noticed a really disgusting STAIN on the passenger seat. EWWWWWWWWW, right? The guy said it took him roughly 1000 bucks to get the stain removed and that the stain, it turns out, was BLOOD. [INSERT SOUNDS OF DISGUST HERE].

Thats when, finally, the "why didnt you call me back" girl spoke up [nasty bitch should have just hung up the phone].
-lets just say she was embarrassed, everyone else was grossed out, and as far as I'm concerned the dude made the right call because though she may have had a nice "personality", -personally tha bitch is nasty.
Listen, when they dont call you back, move the fuck on and dont worry about WHY, because the WHY will never be "I didnt call you back because you make me suicidal, suicidal when you say its over.. your way too beautiful. . gurlllll"

2. Rumor has it Kobe Bryant is getting divorced from Vanessa. Two different radio stations and one webpage is reporting that Kobe and Vanessa are breaking up. I called this marriage as having a less than 10 year lifespan when it started (Kobe was WAY too young, Vanessa was just graduating from high school, AND everyone in Kobe's camp was against it (the marriage was the spike that wedged between Kobe and his dad for a while). Naturally Vanessa's camp was cheering her on from the JUMP). The Professor gave Kobe a shot. I can recall at least one of his phrases was "Kobe might be able to do this, he's different, he might make this work".

NOPE.

After Kobe's Coloradoscapade, I figured Vanessa to hold on for a few years (for face, for public support) before starting down divorce road. After Colorado the Professor and I gave the marriage over under lines of 5-7 more years before the fall. In the end, we called it.
She held on after he admitted to adultery. She held on after a rape trial. Most people, currently outside of LA., HATE Kobe, so anything she does from rape-point forward makes her very sympathetic.

Kobe DIDNT have a prenup (I can recall him TELLING the media that).
So, you get a BAD high school hispanic hoochie video girl tramp, with a mom who has a little reputation in the "marry to get rich category", and a straight from high school young ball player who rebels against family and friends to get married WITHOUT a prenup So unless you are really crazy, or maybe just really hopeful, if you dont smell the gold digger, your nose is broken.
SO, there is a NEW single mom in LA who qualifies instantly as THE MILF in the Wood for sure.
Oh, and she' s due HALF of Kobe's cash up to date, and will surely get a serious amount of child support. [easily 100 million dollars)
I aint saying she's a gold digga..

BREAKING NEWS: Mike Irvin's Mom, a HAMSTER, Mike Irvin, a HamHumanster!

Every time I read that Irvin was one of 17 children I really want to see what his mom looks like. Does she have 3 sets of nipples?
--and YES this post is purposefully ugly and wrong. ROFL.

A little sidenote: CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING THE HALL IRVIN!

Morning Commute No.1

I had thought about blogging this almost 6 months ago but decided against the idea. No wait, I didnt decide against it, I just looked up and had some pretty interesting things going on that led me to landing at my desk and literally forgetting about the idea.
So, the idea is I will periodically report about crazy things I hear on the radio on the way in to work.
For example, about 4 weeks ago on a local San Diego radio station, the DJs asked listeners to call in and report about dates that they have been on and they then ask the DJs to call the person with whom they went on the date, because they haven't heard back from the person since the date. To rephrase that; the callers (who have generally been out of contact with a person they dated) ask the DJs to call people who MUST really not be interested in the caller.
SO, about three weeks ago a classic call happened that involved a woman who described a beautiful date with a guy. They met at a dog park and both had Schnauzers. Both were professionals and they hit it off. In one day, they enjoyed the park together, had a nice early dinner with a sunset, and wound out back at the woman's home "doin the nasty". However, since that date the guy never called the woman back and she wondered what was going on (lets add one point for classic dumb woman shit right here). She asked the DJs to call the guy (remember this is happening early in the morning (8:00am)). The DJs made the phone call, and a WOMAN answered the phone. To the DJs horror, surprise and amazement, it turned out the guy was married!! ROFL.. classic. PLUS, if you could have heard the guy trying to explain himself to his wife (who literally started crying) you would have given him mad credit!
The idiot chick who initiated the call (note, dude gave her his cell phone number, so lets chalk up a point for dumb-ass dudes right here) called the guy all kinds of typical names...
The guy terminated the call.
Fun radio moment.

So without further doo doo, let me let you in on what I heard THIS morning.



1. Britney Spears (and its hard to write that name on this blog, but I have to) apparently smokes like a chimney in front of her little rich, yet hillbilly kids. Not only that, but it is reported that when she can not find her cigarettes, she asks her oldest son to "help mommy find her lollipops". Ahh parenting. Looks like Brit has it down already. Its the little lies that lead to little crazed monsters. Keep it up Brit.


2. OJ Simpson (as if there is really another OJ) appeared on an internet interview show (MN1 Studio)(NOTE: this is not a link to the video, just the site that hosted the interview) regarding his feelings about Ron Goldman's family, "the Goldmans" and his wife's family, "the Browns" with regard to their initial censure of his book "If I Did It" a fictional book regarding how OJ would have killed his wife and her dildo, I mean waiter friend Ron. OJ apparently stated that if his book was so bad, and considered "blood money" by the Browns and Goldmans, then isnt it interesting that they wanted the profits from the book if it were to be released. OJ basically wondered why it was blood money when it went into his pockets and NOT blood money when it went into their pockets. I HEAR HIM actually. Apparently the best part of the show, however, was when listeners called in to ask questions. One question of particular interest, and hilarity, was posed; "OJ, what do you think was harder, gaining 2000 yards in the NFL, or, slicing two necks in one night?" -- ROFL.

I guess what I love the most about the question is that I thought I lived in a country that embraced its "innocent until proven guilty" dogma, when in fact, I live in a country that is really "guilty until proven innocent you black bastard". Praise OOSSAAH (OOSSAAH = USA phonetically speaking).



3. Sports related: the NBA has secured more fans for the upcoming season by somehow allowing Kevin Garnett to be traded to the Boston Celtics in a 7 for 1 player deal. The Celtics now have a legitimate chance to make the playoffs for the first time since the late 80's early 90's, or lets say make the playoffs and compete at least, and suddenly the Celtics are nearly a must see team. Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Jesus Shuttlesworth, all on the same team is must see NBATV, seriously. From my count, in the last 4 years, the NBA has grown from perhaps a league with 3-5 must see teams, to a league that now has: The Lakers (always fun to watch Kobe), The Mavs, The Jazz, The Cavs, The Suns, The Rockets, The Spurs (note: if Tony Parker was from the USA he'd be the FACE of the NBA, but he's from France, and Americans are perfectly xenophobic), The Heat, The Celtics, The Bulls, The Nuggets, and The Warriors. I'd watch any of these teams play each other during the season, which is about a 1000% increase in my NBA appreciation. Oh, there are at least two teams that might be interesting: The Magic and The Pistons (sure the Pistons should be listed in the first group, but... well... I have my reasons).
Tha Raiders bought Dante Culpepper for one year. YAY Raiders, its very very hard to strive for crappyness and to date, the Raiders are nearly perfect at it.

So, Morning Commute No. 1 comes to an end.